Today was the first of our big days to come...our hospital maternity tour. I have had this particular event scheduled for at least two months. They (you know, the ever elusive "they") mentioned that the tours fill up very quickly, so I wanted to make sure that we didn't miss out. The first time I scheduled the tour, my husband informed me that we couldn't go on the day I had chosen...that it conflicted with the already scheduled 50th anniversary party for my inlaws. Darn it, but...ok! The inlaws win (as they should)! So, I sheepishly called up the coordinator at the hospital to see if I could switch over to another date. No real big deal. Prior to doing this, though, I ran the next best available date of June 13th past my lovely. He checked his schedule and told me to go ahead and book it...no plans. Done! The coordinator helped me out, and we got it all squared away.
Move forward about one week. My lovely mentions to me that his annual national dealer meeting has been scheduled for the middle of June. When giving specifics...as you might have already guessed...the business trip was to fall over the weekend of June 13th. Uggh! Well, I couldn't change the tour date to August because it might be too late for a tour by then. And, I didn't want to change it to May because that was just too early. The lovely's brilliant suggestion? Go alone. Pretend that I am a single mother. And, go alone. To be certain, I would NOT be the only "single" mom attending the tour. There would be others. He assured me. He was very proud of himself for first weasling his way out of our upcoming breastfeeding class, and now here he was managing to escape the hospital tour as well. (shit-eating grin on his face all the while) FINE!!!
So, what did I do today? I sucked it up, put on my big-girl panties, and I went to the hospital as a "single" mom. And, to ease my worries about being the only one there without a mate...upon entering the waiting room I saw that there were several other people there by themselves, right? NO!!! I was THE only "single" mom there! Where were all of the irresponsible pregnant women who got knocked up without a life partner and had to attend these classes alone...or with a parent or friend instead??? Huh?? Huh?? They must have been hiding today because they certainly weren't in my group!
Don't worry about me, though. I was fine. I kept my chin held way up high over my burgeoning belly, and I walked those hospital floors like I owned the place. Or something like that.
To my husband's credit, I know that he was right in saying that he really and truly did NOT "need" to be there for the parade of preggos. That when I do happen to go into labor AND when he pulls up to the Emergency Room door AND when he marches his plump wife into the hospital AND when he tells whomever will listen that said plump wife is ready to have her baby...SOMEONE will surely point him in the right direction. He don't need no stinkin' tour!!!
So, my lovely...no tour for you. And, your "single" mom wife survived.
Simple note to the lovely, though:
YOU WILL BE GOING TO THE TWO LABOR BASICS CLASSES EVEN IF IT IS THE DEATH OF YOU!!! I SWEAR IT!!! I AM PREGNANT WOMAN!!! HEAR ME ROAR!!!
