Main Entry: ad·ver·tis·ing
Function: noun
Date: 1751
1 : the action of calling something to the attention of the public especially by paid announcements
Ok, so that is the definition of advertising according to Mirriam Webster. Doesn't sound too sinister, right? Advertisements are EVERYWHERE, and there are so many of them blanketing and littering the roadways, TV airwaves, and pages of magazines that most of us are somewhat immune to their potentially warping affects. Yes, most of us. However, "most of us" certainly does not encompass, nor does it apply to, the first time mom to be.
Pregnancy magazines and their sneaky advertisers target us special creatures of emotion and our hormonally driven rationales without any malice at all. We innocently pick up these magazines hoping to "learn" something more about: growing a healthy baby, getting ready for labor, having better sex after the baby, helping our partner, the new dad, adjust and contribute... and a PLETHORA of other truly banal information. In reality we really just skim these articles (or is it just me???), for we have a feeling that we will be able to feel our ways through this childbirth experience and after-experience in a somewhat reasonable fashion with all of the other resources we already have availabe to us.
But, the pretty colors and oh-so-modern looking thingamajiggys meant for the new parents and for their perfect genius baby-to-be that are strategically placed on the other pages in between these ultimately meanigless articles...well, THAT is where we get hooked! We find out about the "must haves" and "parent favorites" that we truly never even knew existed prior to our pregnancy and us peeling back these pages, let alone that we must have them.
Really, how else would we discover that we were potentially missing out on the new "Bugaboo Bee in Red" $530 stroller??? The apparent "necessity for every dad". Necessity, yes, because EVERY dad I know is just dying to show off his "Rolls Royce" of a stroller to his beer chugging buddies during the next gathering for a college football game.
And then there is the "Mama's Belly" bronze bowl. Who could live without the bronze cast of their own pregnant belly? A treasure like that is bound to be a hit at parties and an heirloom to pass down for generations to come. I am sure it is not only art but can also be used for chips or dips, too...right? Extraordinary!
Well, I could continue to sit here and give example after example of the horribly absurd products that are put out there to lure us in. And also make fun of the CRAZY pregnant women who actually succumb to the pressure and are somehow guilted into, or illusioned into, buying one of these riduculous products. Or, I could just simply fess us that I AM one of THOSE crazy pregnant women who has made a couple of these "irrational" (husband think) or potentially very beneficial and useful (pregnant think) purchases after stepping away from said magazines. Come on, just trust me when I say that I am going to look oh-so-good in that very necessary Delivery Gown while I beautifully and gracefully go through my seemingly easy labor and hum my way through my childbirth at the hospital. (can't you just picture it now?) Yep, uh-huh...that's right! Thank goodness for advertising, or I never would have known that I would have been subjected to bleeding all over a dingy, thin, and surely discolored hospital- issue gown that has been worn 400 times before me. Oh...the pure and absoulte horror of the thought!!! Gasp!
Fine, fine, fine...DAMN IT! Ok, honey...I promise...no more pregnancy magazines for me...
