Thursday, December 28, 2006

Cycle Day One...come and gone

Well, cycle day one hit on December 26th. I went in this morning for my cycle day 2 baseline ultrasound and blood work. Everything was fine, as usual. I will begin the del estrogen IM injections this evening, and I will get one every three days. I have to go back on January 8th for my lining check, which is also the day that I will begin the PIO IM shots. I am still scheduled for a January 12th transfer.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

3 BCPs to go...after Sunday will be done!

I can't hardly wait to be done with the BCPs. They are making me miserable, and I will spare everyone the intimate details of my actual misery. After Sunday I will be all done with them, and I will have my ultrasound and blood work on the 28th as scheduled. The del estrogen shots will begin that day, and our countdown to the FET on January 12th will truly start. I still can't wait until the day prior to transfer when I have my 1 hour and 20 minute Swedish massage....aaaahhhhh!

Monday, December 11, 2006

13 BCPs to go, but who is counting????

Oh yeah, I am. Uggh. They truly suck, but oh well. My yoga 4 fertility dvd arrived yesterday, and I gave it a whirl this morning. I really liked it. It has a lot of great stuff to help you relax and focus, and the yoga poses are great. It will take awhile for my body to be able to do some of the poses perfectly / properly, but I will get there. I am certainly glad I ordered it. I also made my appointment for my massage the day prior to transfer. I am going for an EIGHTY minute swedish massage...yay! I am so excited for that! Well, I must go down a cup of hot raspberry leaf tea....

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

11 days down...18 more to go

I am 11 days into the BCPs, and I still do not like them anymore than I have in the past. But, I only have 18 more days to go, so it isn't the end of the world. For this FET cycle, I am taking a very positive and relaxed approach. I have begun incorporating a variety of holisitc / homeopathic variables into the mix. I am doing yoga and will soon begin doing a yoga specific for women with fertility issues (a yin form of yoga). I really enjoy this form of exercise as it makes me feel relaxed yet very strong. I have started taking a bubble bath at least once a week while listening to a relaxation CD and reading. I am eating pumpkin seeds (known for holisitc properties regarding the female reproductive system) and drinking a lot of raspberry leaf tea (known for toning and strengthening the uterus and regulating female cycles). I am eating well, although this is nothing new or out of the ordinary. I have put my diet Coke aside for the most part, and I generally drink naturally flavored sparkling water in addition to my tea. The day prior to my frozen transfer I plan to go for a massage. After the transfer I will continue with my yin yoga, and I also plan to go for a facial. I don't know if any of this will result in a pregnancy this time around, but I do know that I am feeling much more in control of what we are doing, and I feel very positive and calm. That, in and of itself, certainly can't do any harm.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Family Holiday Photo


This is the one that is being used to create our Christmas cards. Batman displayed the utmost patience as he was staged for this photo-op. He did try to eat his "arm" on several occasions, but other than that he was a good boy.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

FET Round Two....Ding

Well, we are now onto our second FET journey. I started my birth control pills (BCPs) on Sunday, and I will take them for 29 days this time. I will take my last pill on December 24th, my next cycle should begin on December 27th, and I will go in for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork on December 28th. If all goes well with the baseline workup, then I will begin my del estrogen IM shots again on that same day. Sometime after that the PIO shots will follow suit. My transfer date is tenatively set for January 12th. We have decided to tranfer all three remaining frozen M&M minis, that is if they all survive the thaw. Our estimated beta HCG test would be on / around January 24th.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Thoughts are confirmed....it is official!

Had the beta HCG test today, and it came back negative. Neither frozen embryo "took". My RE called me personally to deliver the news. She is allowing us to go straight into another FET cycle, so I will begin BCPs again sometime in the next week. We will be doing a transfer with the remaining three frozen minins (whichever ones survive the thaw) in early January. This is one of our last attempts, so we hope it works.

Please keep thinking positive thoughts for us!

Thanks - Megan and Matt! =-)

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Nothing New - 8dp FET

Eight days past the FET and still just waiting. I have no real symptoms or signs this time around. Although it is still fairly early, I did do an HPT, which as expected came back negative. So, I am not terribly confident that the FET worked for us. I won't have the official word until sometime on Tuesday afternoon, but we already have a gameplan in place if needed. Our follow-up with our RE will be on December 19th. If we have the funds in place through insurance, I will probably start BCPs again in December and do a transfer with the remaining frozen embryos (3) in late January / early February. We shall see...it isn't over until the infertility lady sings (she is a cousin of the fat lady).

Sunday, November 12, 2006

4dp FET

We are four days past our FET. Just counting down the days until our beta test....

Thursday, November 09, 2006

FET, November 8th

The FET took place yesterday just as planned. The embryologist only had to thaw two embryos to get the two to put back. That is great news, and it means that we still have three frozen minis waiting if we need them. The two embryos that they put back were rated a "95". The RE said that she likes them to be between 90 and 100, and ours were. She said they were "excellent". I had to come home and remain on bedrest until today at 1:30pm. I am now on two to four days of light activity. Once that is over, I am able to resume light to moderate walking for exercise. That is about all I am allowed to do...no weights, no running, no heavy aerobic activities, etc. We will go back to the RE's office on November 21st for our beta HCG test (pregnancy test). Until then, we just wait and hope.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

FET TIME!

The nurse just called, and I am all scheduled for my FET tomorrow. I have to arrive at the Rockville, MD facility at 12:15pm ready to go with a very full bladder. The actual transfer is set to take place at 12:45pm. So, as of tomorrow afternoon I will (hopefully) have two minis back where they belong. I have a bunch of magazines and a new book waiting for me when I return home for my 24 hours of bedrest. I even pre-made a casserole so that my lovely husband doesn't have to worry about working and cooking while I lay around like a slob. Twelve days from tomorrow we should have our results. Wish us luck!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Five more days to go!

Well, I had my lining check and blood work appointment on Friday. Everything was lovely. My uterus was lovely. My blood was lovely. My ovaries were quiet and lovely. All was just.....lovely. I will begin the PIO IM shots today. They will go along with the del estrogen shots that I will still be getting every third day. Today is one of those "third days", so lucky me gets two shots this evening. I can't wait! We will receive a call sometime prior to Wednesday to let us know what time the transfer will take place. It will be in the afternoon, as the embryologist needs to thaw out the frozen minis prior to our arrival. After the transfer (which is exactly what it is like for a fresh IVF cycle), I will come home and be on 24 hours of bed rest followed up by two to three days of light activity. It will be around the 20th or 21st that we will have our beta HCG test to see if the minis "took" or not. Oh joy!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Getting a little bit closer...

This FET process seems like it takes forever, because you do so little that the time passes much more slowly. With IVF and IUIs you are stimming, doing ultrasounds, getting blood drawn, and etc. ALL the time. With the FET, there is hardly anything to do.

At this point, I have received four del estrogen injections. Matt is an old pro at this point as far as giving the IM shots is concerned. He just may have a second career as a "shot giver guy". I'm sure "those guys" make a ton of money. I have another injection on Wednesday, and then I go in for my lining check (ultrasound) and bloodwork on Friday. That is when things will really get moving. More shots, more often. A week from this Wednesday should be our transfer. I am hoping that our frozen M&M minis survive the thaw all right. We only have five left...

So - stay tuned to this absolutely riveting process! I'm sure y'all are glued to your computers just waiting for the next exciting post.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Matt and Mr. Duvall



Matt and Robert Duvall during the trophy presentation at the 69th International Gold Cup. Also included is a photo of the horses jumping during the Porsche sponsored race. Beautiful day!October 21,2006



M&M with Mr. Robert Duvall


Here is a photo of Matt and I with Robert Duvall. The shot was taken at the 69th annual International Gold Cup which was sponsored by Porsche and two of Matt's local dealers. Matt did a trophy presentation with Mr. Duvall, so we were able to meet and briefly chat with him. He lives in the area and enjoys being present at this event when he can. He is a very nice guy, and it was such a trip hanging out up there. The event was a big success, and I am very proud of my husband for pulling it all together in such a short amount of time. Good job, baby!

Friday, October 20, 2006

Grab your needles....let the shots begin again!


Everything went well at the RE's office today. The RE said that my uterus looked like it was "ready for some embryos". The lining was fine, and my uterus and both ovaries were "quiet". Apparently the blood work came back clear as well because we will begin the del estrogen IM injections this evening.


I will draw up .2 ml of the del estrogen using an 18G needle. Matt will inject the oily solution using a 22G x 1" needle. These needles are so much better than the 1 1/2" ones I used for most of my IVF cycle....my body is too little for the longer needles. Anway....these shots will be administered every third night through the time of transfer (and well after). On November 3rd I need to go back to the RE's office for another lining check and more blood work. If all looks good on that day, the following day I will begin doing the PIO IM injections along with the del estrogen IM injections. The PIO shots, unfortunately, need to be given every day. I will continue these shots for five days, and then we will have the transfer done on November 8th. Through all of this, I also must take a pre-natal vitamin and a baby aspirin every day.


So - we are once again getting close.........to what??? Who knows. We'll keep you posted.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

TODAY IS DAY ONE!

So, today is the first day of my cycle! That means tomorrow I go in for my baseline ultrasound and bloowork, and more than likely I will begin my del estrogen IM inejctions tomorrow night. This is the official kickoff of our FET cycle. Stay tuned.....

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Surviving 12,304 feet - M&M in the Rockies


Here is a beautiful shot of ourselves at the top of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado. The wind was a blowing somethin' fierce that day, but we were still able to travel up and over via Trail Ridge Road. We hiked up as far as we could into the tundra. Awesome! What a great trip!

Out with the BCPs

So, I am finally finished with the BCPs after taking them for 21 days. Now I sit and wait for my next cycle to begin so that we are able to kick off the FET process. On the first day of my cycle I will begin taking baby aspirin along with my prenatal vitamin. On the second day of my cycle I must travel to the clinic to have my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork completed. If everything looks ok then I will begin my del estrogen IM injections on day two as well. About 17 days into injections of both del estrogen (only given every third day) and PIO (given every day starting 12 days into the del estrogen shots), we will be able to do our actual transfer. We are getting excited, but it also seems surreal. I don't know if we are more relaxed about this attempt given that we lack hope in general, or if it is just old school to us at this point in time. Who knows....but we are doing it anyway. Here's to the start of another journey (good, bad or indifferent)!

Saturday, September 30, 2006

BCPs Begin

Just a quick update. I began the BCPs on Wednesday, September 27th. This is the first step in the FET process. After I complete 21 days on the BCPs, I will wait for my next cycle and then kick off the rest of the fun. My tenative date for the FET is November 8th, but this will likely change as we get closer. We will keep y'all posted.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Busy week - Finally Moving Forward

It has been a busy week, so I am only now getting around to updating our blog. Sorry to anyone who is still actually checking in on us.

I had my fourth beta test on Wednesday, and I am very pleased to say that my HCG levels are now down to ZERO. I am finally "un-pregnant" and am able to move forward with treatment.

Matt and I had our follow-up / consult with the RE on Friday. She said that our IVF was absolutely "ideal" from a medical perspective. It was perfect. The fact that I miscarried was a fluke. The doc said that not all embryos are meant to be a baby, and that mine was one that wasn't meant to be. She feels that our chances are still very good to get pregnant and have a child. She is a straight shooter, so the fact that she is so hopeful makes me feel optimistic (albeit cautiously optimistic). The success rate at this clinic for frozen embryo transfers (FETs) is about 30 to 40%. Dr. Browne, our primary RE, has now given us the green light to move on to our FET.

At the start of my next cycle (which will be in the next one to three weeks) I will begin birth control pills (BCPs). The BCPs just "quiet" my reproductive system and give a good baseline to start the process. I will be on the BCPs for 21 days. After ending the BCPs my cycle should start again in three to five days. With the start of that cycle in October, I will have to go in on my "day 2" for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork. If everything is in order, then I will begin del estrogen injections. These will be intramuscular (IM) injections that I have to receive once every three days. After twelve days I will go back in for another ultrasound and more bloodwork. If my uterine lining looks good, then I will proceed with progesterone in oil (PIO) IM injections. These will be daily injections, just like I had to do with my IVF. After five days of PIO IM injections, I will be ready to go in for my transfer. On the day of transfer we will travel to Rockville, MD to the main Shady Grove clinic location. The embryologist will start by thawing two of our embryos (we have five frozen). If both survive the thaw, then those will be the minis that we put back in my uterus. If one or both don't survive, then they will continue thawing until we have two embryos to put back. After the transfer, I will be on 24 hours of bedrest again, followed by a few days of light activity. I will have to continue doing the PIO IM injections up through the pregnancy test. If I am pregnant, then the PIO shots will continue for a LONG time. If not, they will stop, and that will be that.

So - that is our protocol in a nutshell. The FET will actually take place in the beginning to middle of November, depending on when my cycles arrive. We will keep you posted as we forward with our next attempt at starting our family.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Blood Test #3....still going....and going...

Well, I had my third "post D&C" blood draw today. My beta HCG numbers dropped from 42 down to 14.1. The numbers must be below five to be negative, so I still have to go back for one more needle stick. Ouch! Oh well...next week's test should be the last one. We also have our follow-up / consult appointment with our RE next week on Friday. We will discuss the miscarriage and our next steps at that time. Hopefully we will be on track to do the FET at the end of October...we'll have to wait and see.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Blood Test #2

I went for my second "post D&C" beta test today, and my hormone levels are now down to 42. They still need to get below 5 before I am done with bloodwork. Anything less than five means "not pregnant anymore". I have another blood draw next Wednesday...hopefully it will be the last.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Blood Test #1

I had my first post D&C blood test yesterday. My beta-HCG levels are down to 129. This is a HUGE drop, which is what they would expect. I have to go back in one week to have my levels checked again. They need to have my levels be less than five (a technical negative) in order to clear me for any upcoming treatments. So - next Wednesday it is back to the RE's office again. Hopefully that will be the last time prior to our follow-up and consult on September 15th.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

No More Restrictions!

I had my surgical follow-up yesterday with my OB. She said that everything looks good, and I should not have any problems moving forward. I have been "released" from my restrictions, and I am now free to begin working out and leading a normal life again. I am past the point where I could get an infection, so nothing more to worry about here. She also noted that it probably was not necessary for me to have a RhoGAM shot (for Rh incompatibility) after my early ectopic pregnancy / miscarriage. Now that I have had a later miscarriage and received the RhoGAM, I will have to have RhoGAM shots if I have any bleeding in future pregnancies. This will keep my body from attacking the baby's cells if it is Rh positive. Anyway...

Next week I will be going back to the RE's office for blood work. They want to make sure that my pregnancy hormones are dropping off appropriately. If so, we will then be cleared to move on to a frozen embryo transfer (FET) in a couple of months. Right now we are working diligently to plan our trip to Colorado in October and are just trying to be a "normal" couple (no shots, ultrasounds, pills, etc.). More than likely, I will begin suppression (birth control pills / lupron shots) with my October cycle. If that happens, we will probably do our FET in November. We have five frozen embryos left to use...so we might as well use 'em.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Road to Recovery

I had my D&C (dilatation and curettage) performed on Wednesday. I have been recovering at home since that time. Overall I feel pretty well. I think the option of surgery was the right choice and will be much easier to handle versus the alternative (natural miscarriage).

My pre-operative lab work showed that I am blood type A-. The negative stands for "missing the Rh factor". Essentially, it means that I have a rare blood type. Only 15% of the population is shown to be Rh negative. Now, the interesting thing is that Matt is Rh positive. If we do conceive, it is more than likely that the baby will be Rh positive. This can be a bad thing, because my body would recognize the Rh positive factor as a foreign body and would attack it (situation called Rh incompatibility). This situation can be avoided or mostly avoided given modern day science. A first pregnancy is not a risk, given that I wouldn't have produced any antibodies against the Rh positive baby yet. Anything after a first pregnancy can be dangerous, unless you are given an injection of RhoGAM. This injection kills off any Rh positive red blood cells in my body so that I do not create the antibodies to do this in the future. Confusing? Well, it is a bit confusing. Anyway...I was given an injection of RhoGAM after my D&C to help protect any future pregnancies. The one worry that we have at this point is that I was NOT given a RhoGAM injection after my ectopic pregnancy / miscarriage. My nurse at the fertility clinic is looking into this situation for me, as she believes that the injection is not necessary until you are at least 7 or 8 weeks into a pregnancy (which I was not at that time). I am hoping that this is the case so that we have not jeopardized future pregnancies with the possibility of Rh sensitization. Still confused? Sorry! The important thing is that I am not.

Outside of all of this, I am physically and emotionally starting to heal. Each day is a better day, and will continue to be so, I am sure. I have a surgical follow-up appointment with my OB next Friday. I have a follow-up and consult with my reproductive endocrinologist (RE) on September 15th. By that point in time we will be deciding if we are ready to proceed forward with any next steps (i.e. frozen embryo transfer) or not. If we do decide to move forward and jump into this again, I think it will be our last time. Hopefully everything will work out, as I continue to believe that everything happens for a reason.

Monday, August 07, 2006

From Bad to Worse

It is with great sadness that I share the news with you that we have officially lost the pregnancy. Our ultrasound today showed no fetal cardiac activity, the placenta has detached, and the sac is showing signs of collapse. I am scheduled to see my OB tomorrow for a repeat ultrasound and for a pre-op appointment. I will likely be scheduled for a D&C later this week.

I want to thank everyone for supporting us through this difficult journey. It is a sad day for us, and a frustrating end to an even more frustrating process. Outside of taking time to recover and grieve, I am not sure what we plan to do in the future regarding any further fertility treatments. We will take this process one day at a time and come to a decision sometime down the road. During this time, it is ok to feel badly for us, but I ask that you do not feel sorry for us. Life is not always fair, and we are all given difficulties to face. This just happens to be one of our difficulties. Thank you.

Monday, July 31, 2006

The Bad with the Good

Today we went for our second sonogram with the RE. The good news is that we had a visible / detectable heartbeat and that the gestational sac, yolk sac, and fetal pole had all grown just as they should over a one week period. The not so good news is that I am measuring a full week behind (I am 7 weeks and 2 days pregnant but am only measuring 6 weeks 2 days pregnant). The crown to rump measurement today was 5mm, up from 2mm a week ago (apparently at our first sonogram one week ago we were only measuring at 5 weeks 2 days pregnant instead of 6 weeks 2 days pregnant). The RE stated that she has seen plenty of women measure behind and still have a viable pregnancy and deliver healthy babies. Right now it is a positive sign that the growth over a one week period was typical growth. However, we must be cautiously optimistic at this time as things could also go the other way, in that the pregnancy could just stop progressing.

We will be back at the RE's office next Monday for a third sonogram. It is all of our hopes that the growth will continue just as it should, or, even more optimistically, bridge the gap. We also hope that the heartbeat continues to get stronger. If these things do happen for us, we will be released to the OB for the rest of the pregnancy. If not, we will have to deal with the situation that presents itself and move forward.

Monday, July 24, 2006

ONE M&M mini in the Oven!


Well, we are back from our first sonogram, and we are elated to share with everyone that there is only ONE M&M mini in this oven! In the above photograph, the darkened (black) oval is the "sac" that holds the mini. The little blob at the bottom of the sac is the yolk sac which will feed the mini until the placenta is fully formed. The tiny little rice shaped blob above the yolk sac is the fetal pole. The fetal pole is what will become our baby. So - for now we have all of the right parts! We were not able to see the heartbeat today, but it is still a bit early for that. Generally the heartbeat is visible by 7 weeks. I am scheduled for my next sonogram a week from today, and hopefully there will be a heartbeat at that point in time. We will keep you posted.

I am happy to announce that I will be done receiving Progesterone in oil intramuscular injections as of August 11th. At that time I will be switched over to Prometrium, which is NOT a shot! I will continue the Prometrium until August 25th, and then no more hormone replacements at all! The only thing that I will have to continue after the 25th is my prenatal vitamin...I can handle that! I am scheduled for my first OB appointment on August 25th, so we hope that all continues to progress well until then.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Third and Final Beta Test Results!

Today was my final beta test. My previous beta HCG number was 1650. After your number passes 1200 it is supposed to take between 3 and 4 days for it to double. It has only been three days since my last beta, and my number has increased to 3657...which is more than double. Everything is still progressing just as it should, if not better. Our number is still above average, so there is a chance that more than one of the minis decided to call my belly home. We will find out officially one week from today when we have our first sonogram. That appointment is scheduled for 9:30am.

(if anyone is interested in learning more about beta HCG numbers, or would like to see how ours have compared to the averages, feel free to check out this informative website: http://www.ivfer.com/hcg.htm)

I am doing well. The stim drugs in combination with my pregnancy hormones has caused my lower abdomen to become a bit distended. I feel fine, though. I am more tired than normal but am functioning well overall. I have not had any sickness as of yet, but that can creep up at any time. I don't mind any of my symptoms, though, as I am just happy to be in a situation to have the symptoms in the first place. No complaints here!

We will let everyone know the results of our sonogram sometime by Monday afternoon. If all goes well at that appointment, hopefully we will be able to start relaxing and enjoying the pregnancy even more.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Beta Results #2

Well, today was the second beta test to see how our HCG number was increasing. My nurse informed me that they like to see a 60% increase over the first number. (Our first number was 945, so a 60% increase would have been 1512.) Well, we aren't messing around here, so we threw up a big ole' 1650...almost a 75% increase. The pregnancy at this point is progressing quite well. The average beta number at this stage is around 1200, so we are beating the averages all around.

Monday will be the third and final beta test. If things are still going as well as they have been, then we will be ready to schedule our first ultrasound for around the six week mark (when we will find out if just one or both of the minis dug in). We'll continue to keep you all posted!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

THE RESULTS ARE IN!

This is a picture of a home pregnancy test that I did this morning. We have had positive results going back about seven days, so we have been cautiously optimistic. We were looking forward to the beta test today to get confirmation and to find out how strong our "number" was. Well, it was great news. At 13 days past a 5 day embryo transfer, our HCG number was 945! According to one website, the average number for a positive test 13 days past transfer is 522. Anything over 100 is considered a decent number, so we blew both of these numbers away. This is a very good sign that this is a strong and viable pregnancy. Today I am officially 4 weeks and 4 days pregnant. If everything goes well, our estimated due date (according to one online calculator) would be March 16, 2007.

I need to go back on Friday and again on Monday to have additional blood work done. Per standard procedure, the doctor wants to make sure that the HCG numbers double every two days. Once I have my beta completed on Monday, and if everything is still on track, we will be able to schedule an ultrasound for about my six week mark. At that time the RE would look to see how many sacs are in the uterus (one or two) and if we have a heartbeat(s) yet.

We wanted to use this site to congratulate all of the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends to be! Just to let you in on a little secret, we have come up with some potential names for our baby (or babies). These are the number one choices for a girl or a boy...I'm sure you will agree that they are just splendid!


  • Girl: Judith Joanne Ritter
  • Boy: Jerome Robert Ritter



Runners up for the list are as follows:

  • Girl: Woodrina Hayes Ritter
  • Boy: Santa Pizza Ritter



Of course we would welcome any input regarding our short list, but we are fairly certain that these are the best options....aren't they all just beautiful?

(disclaimer: for those of you who don't know our senses of humor all that well, we have to admit that these names are a joke! As lovely as they are, we will not actually be using them for our child (children). Thank you.)

Monday, July 10, 2006

Stay Tuned!

Only two more days until the beta test! Wednesday afternoon will be the big announcement (one way or the other) on this blog. Wish us luck!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

The Waiting Game

Well, as you all know, we are still waiting for our upcoming beta test on July 12th. Only six more days to go, so it isn't too bad. I am feeling much better these days. My hips and butt only mildly ache, and the shots seem to be getting more comfortable. I hope things stay this way. Matt is traveling this week and driving race cars down in Alabama, so I have to have a friend (who is also a nurse) come over and shoot up my behind. I am lucky to have a back-up for when Matt is not here. I am fairly tired at various parts of the day, and I am a bit short of breath. These things are both quite out of the ordinary for me. The progesterone injections can cause fatigue, so I am blaming them for the moment. Not much else worthy of mention right now...so, onto the 12th already!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Frozen M&M Minis

Good news! Of the nine "leftover" embryos that we had on Thursday, five made it to the cryopreservation stage! If this cycle does not work for some reason, at least we have these five frozen minis left that we can use for a frozen embryo transfer (FET) some time down the road.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

tick tock...Tick Tock...TICK TOCK

We are three days post transfer, and all we are doing is waiting. Tick tock.... I am feeling much better these days. Tick tock.... My bloating has mostly subsided, and my abdominal area feels almost back to normal. Tick tock... My only complaint is still the soreness in my hips / butt due to the daily IM injections. Tick tock... I am dealing with it better, though, and am just pushing forward. Tick tock... Only ten more days until the beta test and then we can celebrate or move forward to our next steps. TICK TOCK...

Friday, June 30, 2006

The M&M Minis!


Yesterday, Matt and I went to "pick up" our M & M Minis at the Shady Grove facility in Rockville. Of the 16 eggs that had originally fertilized, 6 made it to the blastocyst stage and five made it to the pre-blastocyst stage. We made the decision to put back only two, leaving us with nine leftovers that will continue to be monitored. Any embryos that are still doing well in a few days will be cryopreserved for potential future use. I am now done with my 24 hours of bedrest, and I must begin my 2 to 3 days of light activity. During our wait until the beta test, I must still take a prenatal vitamin, a baby aspirin, 2 estrace tablets, and my PIO intramuscular injection every day. I am feeling just fine, outside of the fact that the PIO shots have the same effect as arthritis...make me very achey in my butt and hips and forces me to walk like an old woman. If it weren't for that, all would be right with the world!

Pictured above are the M&M Minis that we put back. In two weeks we will know if they are planning to stay with us or not. We will keep you posted!

(photo image of our day five blastocysts graciously provided by Martha Anderson of Shady Grove Fertility Reproductive Science Center of Rockville, MD. Thank you, Martha! Dr. Stephen J. Greenhouse must receive credit for putting the M&M Minis back where they belong!)

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Blastocysts come home tomorrow!

Tomorrow is the big day when we go to collect our little blastocysts. Our appointment is scheduled for 11am at the Rockville, MD clinic location. We need to arrive at the clinic by 10:30am. On the trip in, I need to drink approximately 36 oz. of fluid, preferably Gatorade. It is necessary for me to have a full bladder for the egg (blastocyst) transfer. Once I am ready for transfer, the RE will insert a sterile catheter through the cervical opening and into the uterus. They will place the selected blastocyst(s) into the desired location in the uterus and then the catheter will be removed. I need to lay down for at least 20 minutes and then I will be released. I must remain on bedrest for a 24 hour period following the egg transfer. I plan to gather a good collection of books and magazines today for my down time. The 24 hours of bedrest are followed by two to three days of light activity. After this time, I should be able to go back to my normal routine.

My nurse will be calling on Monday of next week to let us know how many blastocysts were cryopreserved. Any that make it to this stage could be used down the road.

We are scheduled for our beta test (test to check for levels of beta-HCG, or pregnancy hormone, in the blood) on July 12th. If the test comes back positive, then we celebrate. If it comes back negative, we are already scheduled for a follow-up appointment with our RE on July 26th. At this appointment we would talk about any next steps that we might take, such as FET (frozen embryo transfer).

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

"How to give your horse an intramuscular injection..."

In my search to justify my pain related to PIO intramuscular injections, I came across this weblink. I did a Google search for "intramuscular injections PIO" and the above quote was splayed across the screen under the title: useful links. I had no idea that learning how to give my horse (which I didn't even know that I had) an intramuscular injection would help me in any way, but who am I to judge? Isn't the internet a god in a sense...all-knowing? Isn't it supposed to provide me with all the answers that I seek? Ah...or do I actually have to disseminate the information that it so willingly provides? I am going with the latter. I will skip learning how to shoot up my non-existent horse for now.

My actual quest was to find information that would help me to rationalize and to justify my fear of the PIO shots. I kept telling myself that I was a being a total sissy....that I dreaded these shots for no reason. Everybody is doing it (well, everybody in the IVF world, that is), right? So - what is the big deal? I didn't often hear other people complain about these injections, so I thought that my fears and pain must be irrational. Apparently, though, I was wrong. Through my internet searches, I have learned that I do not lack for company at this party. Women across the infertility world are banding together to compare notes on the side effects of these injections and tips for avoiding the unpleasant ones (which, frankly, they all are).

I have learned that regardless of what you do beforehand, afterward, or in the middle, that you will end up sore. There will be bleeding. There will be bruising. There could be lumping under the skin. This will not get better during the duration of the time that these injections are necessary. You must only get more clever in your attempts to avoid hitting a previously injected site, as this will just make all of the side-effects that much worse (this feat, however, is nearly impossible given the potential timeframe for the shots). Some general tips for making the most of it:

  • Thoroughly warm the oil prior to giving the injection. This will thin the oil and make it easier to inject. You can warm the oil by placing it in your bra for ten minutes, or by running it under very warm (not hot) water.
  • Make sure that the person who is administering the shot gets the injection site pulled as taut as possible. This will help to eliminate some of the potential bruising involved.
  • Always remember to pull back on the plunger once the needle is inserted to check for blood. Blood would be a sign that a vein has been hit, and this can cause serious problems.
  • Inject all of the oil slowly and steadily.
  • Pull the needle straight out after completing the injection, and do this quickly.
  • Apply gauze or a bandage, and gently massage the oil into the muscle.
  • Apply heat (heating pad or warm washcloth) as you massage. This will keep the oil thin and help it dissolve into the muscle more easily.
  • Walk around, walk up stairs...do whatever you can to keep your muscle loose. This will cause less aches and pains in the morning (although not much less).
  • Avoid punching the person who has given you the shot. They are only doing their "job", therefore retaliation would be seen as less than called for. Remember...your partner is suffering through this process, too (yeah...right!)

Even by following these instructions, women have complained that they still have sore spots MONTHS or more after receiving their last shot. So - we pay a great price to gain a great reward. Hopefully any children produced via this process will appreciate later in life the true sacrifice of their mothers. If not, I do think it is fair to punish them for their insolence....well, ok, maybe not. But - I do think bigger presents would be in order for Mother's Day for sure!

No Transfer For Us Today!!!!

This is fantastic news. We have officially been pushed off until Thursday for our embryo transfer. This means that at least the majority of our embryos are still dividing and progressing well, so we will be doing a five day blastocyst transfer. Given that we will be doing a five day transfer, we will only be putting two embryos back.

I haven't heard back from my nurse yet to find out how many of the embryos are still going strong, but I will update this post as soon as she calls!

Today is the first day since my egg retrieval that I am feeling almost human again. These last few days have been very difficult for me physically, but I am turning the corner. Now, my biggest complaint is that my backside aches all of the time. As soon as one side starts feeling better after receiving a PIO injection, it is time to get shot up on that side again. I am very willing to look at this as a happy problem to have if we end up pregnant in the end.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Still looking good!

Today's fertilization report showed that all 16 eggs that fertilized are now "cleaving". This means that they are dividing as they should. It is a very positive sign that all of them have continued to progress. I have to wait until tomorrow morning for another report to tell us if we are doing our embryo transfer tomorrow afternoon, or if we get to wait until Thursday. I should know by 10am. We are certainly hoping to be able to do the five day transfer, as the odds of implantation are much better at that stage.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Hear Ye, Hear Ye....Fertilization Report

Out of the 22 follicles that they retrieved yesterday, we had a whopping 16 fertilize. This is great news, and it is above the average number for fertilization. Tomorrow we will receive another report telling us how all of the cells are dividing. We will find out at that time whether we will be doing a 3 day transfer (Tuesday) or a 5 to 6 day transfer (Thursday or Friday). We hope to make it to a five day transfer, as the embryos reach the blastocyst stage at this time and have a much better implantation rate.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

More Photos from ER Day at Shady Grove




Me all hooked up. Also pics of my two fantastic nurses. The staff at Shady Grove is top notch!



ER DAY


Well, today was the big day....egg retrieval day. I woke up at 5am to get some food in my tummy and then went back to bed for a bit. I drank a bunch of Gatorade up until 8:30am and then I was cut off from all food and drink. I was able to shower this morning, but I could not put on lotion, perfume, makeup, or jewelry, so I was looking absolutely stunning today.

We arrived at Shady Grove and got things started immediately. I was first hooked up to an IV to get some fluids in me. After that, one of my nurses took my vitals and got me admitted (please note: "admitted" NOT "committed"). A bit later my anesthetist came in and got me prepped for the procedure. I had to empty my bladder and then walk with my IV into the procedure room. He pumped in some meds that would start making me sleepy, and oh did I love those! I was awake for another minute, and the next thing I remember is coming to in the recovery room. Because my heart rate / pulse dropped to 50 during the procedure, I had to have additional special meds given to me via IV. These meds caused me to have severe cotton mouth and made me feel a bit sick. Upon coming to, I was given anti-nausea meds in my IV and I took some Tylenol. The Tylenol wasn't cutting it, so I was given Vicodin, as well. Given the amount of discomfort I felt, my nurse administered some pain medication to my IV on top of the Vicodin and Tylenol. This helped tremendously, and I was able to go home soon after that. All in all, the results were quite pleasantly surpising. They were able to retrieve 22 follicles.

The ride home was brutal with all of the bumps and turns, but I have been feeling much better since arriving home. Matt administered my first progesterone in oil (PIO) intramuscular (IM)injection this evening, and it wasn't too bad. My muscle sort of jumped / contracted when the needle went in, but outside of that it was fine. Matt needs to massage the area for me after I receive a shot and then I need to put some heat on it. I also walk around for a bit to work out some of the pain. All of these things help to make the muscle feel better and help to keep the oil from pooling in that one spot and becoming lumpy. I need to take the rest of my hormones, vitamins, aspirin, and meds later this evening. I have to take it easy the rest of the day today and tomorrow, but I will should be all better come Monday. We will receive a fertilization report tomorrow afternoon from my primary nurse, and she will be able to tell us how many eggs fertilized and how many of those are dividing into multiple cells. By Monday we will know what day our egg transfer will take place.

Friday, June 23, 2006

"Trigger" Happy and The Egg Retrieval

So, the trigger shot went fine. Crazy, though. I had Matt set his clock alarm and his watch alarm to get us up. We had really bad thunderstorms move in last night, and I was worried that we would lose power, the alarm would never go off, and we would not wake up. That would be just my luck! Anyway, the power did go out, but the storms woke us up at 12:24am. The power was back on by that point, and I went downstairs to mix up the shot. I think I was still half asleep. I had a few minutes left prior to shot time, so I asked Matt if I should ice the injection area to help numb it up. Just then...BOOM, CRACK, KA-POW....the power went out again. I was swearing like a sailor, and Matt was frantically searching for the lantern. He was prepared to shoot me up via lantern light if necessary. Thankfully - two minutes later the power came back on. I skipped the icing part and went straight for the shot. Matt didn't hesistate, and he did a great job. The needle did not hurt going in. I only felt some pressure, especially while he was injecting the HCG mixture. After the needle came out, though, I was like...OUCH. It felt like someone had been using my bootie as a punching bag. I had this really deep muscle ache, which I suppose makes sense since the injection is supposed to go deep into the muscle. I massaged the area for a bit and then went back to bed. This morning it still ached, but I went to the gym to try to walk off some of the pain. It isn't too bad now. All in all, today....my belly hurts from the bruising from twice daily shots, my arms are sore from having my blood drawn about 4 times, my bootie hurts from the trigger shot, and my ovaries are totally barking! Well, not literally barking...but barking because they are sore. Don't I make the IVF process sound so appealing? Makes you feel like you missed out by having kids the "traditional" way, doesn't it?

I do not have to have any shots today. I only have to take two antibiotics tonight. Tomorrow I will be up at 5am to get some food in me (I can't eat after 5:45am). Then back to bed and up by 8am to get some liquid in me (no liquids for me after 8:45am). We will leave here by 9:30am to make sure that we are in Rockville by 11:15am. The acutal procedure is scheduled for 12:45pm.

The egg retrieval is a simple surgical procedure, but I will be given a general anesthetic (aaahhh...sleepy time) in order to keep me comfortable. A large needle, guided by ultrasound, will be pushed through the vaginal wall in order to access the ovaries. The follicles will be aspirated into the needle, and the needle will then be removed. An embryologist will be on hand to take the follicles and assess them. We will be given an initial egg report after the procedure. We will continue to get daily fertilization and growth reports from the nurses up until the time of egg transfer. Starting tomorrow night, we will begin the progesterone in oil (PIO) intramuscular injections. These shots are used to prepare my body for a potential pregnancy and to better equip my body to maintain a pregnancy. These are intramuscular (IM) injections that I will receive daily until the time of a pregnancy test. In addition to these shots, I will continue taking my prenatal vitamins and baby aspirin, and I will begin taking another hormone supplement called Estrace. So - the really big stuff all gets started tomorrow. We are well on our way!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Trigger Shot Tonight!

Well, I missed the call from my nurse, but she did leave a message that we are to administer the trigger shot tonight. I do not know what my estrogen level was, but apparently it was high enough to make them want to trigger to help avoid OHSS. Pictured above are the vials of water and HCG powder to make up the shot, and the needle that Matt will have to use to inject the mixture. This shot will be an intramuscular shot, so it will be given in the outer/upper part of the buttocks. My nurse drew large circles on my backside to give Matt an idea of where to shoot me up. The shot needs to be given at an EXACT time, and the OR scheduler called to let us know that we have to give the shot at 12:45 AM. We will be setting our alarm for 12:30pm to get up to do this. Uggh! The egg retrieval will be scheduled for 36 hours after the trigger shot is given. So, egg retrieval will take place at 12:45PM on Saturday. We need to arrive at the office at 11:45AM to get things started. Tomorrow I will need to continue taking my prenatal vitamins, and I will have to take two Zithromax pills tomorrow evening. These are antibiotics that are given just in case an unknown infection is raging somewhere in my body. Outside of that, tomorrow will be the only day that I do not receive an injection of some sort. Woo hoo! I will give more details on the upcoming egg retrieval tomorrow.

Thursday

We are getting close. Today's ultrasound still showed around 19 total follicles. In my right ovary I have 5 follicles greater than 12 mm, and five other ones are ranging from 14.8mm to 17.8mm. In my left ovary I have 5 follicles greater than 12 mm, and four other ones ranging from 16.7 to 18.3. I am borderline for being triggered at this point, but they would like me to do another day of stims (lower dose) to get the smaller follicles to catch up. However, if my estrogen levels come back too high, they will trigger me tonight in hopes of warding off OHSS (ovarian hyper-stimulation syndrome). OHSS can be very serious and can lead to fluid build-up in the abdominal cavity. This can sometimes force a patient to be hospitalized. So - if necessary, I will trigger tonight with fewer mature follicles, but we should still have at least eight good ones. Ideally, though, I will have one more stim shot tonight and trigger tomorrow night. This would give us the best chance of more mature follicles at retrieval.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

A Side of Me You Have Never Seen (that being the inside...)

Above is an ultrasound photo of my right ovary and left ovary. The darkened "ovals" are individual follicles. I have approximately 19 follicles in both ovaries combined, more follicles being in the left than in the right. The size of the larger follicles ranges from 13.6 mm to 16.6 mm. My estrogen level came back at 1783 today. Given that number, the RE is reducing my dosage of Gonal-F from 2 vials down to 1.5 vials. We are still on schedule for doing our trigger injection on Friday, which would mean that the egg retrieval would be performed on Sunday. In the interim, we will continue administering the lupron injections in the morning and the "stim cocktail" injections in the evening. I will go back to the RE's office in the morning for monitoring once again.

(please note: ultrasound photos pleasantly provided by Stephen J. Greenhouse, MD, FACOG of Shady Grove Fertility Reproductive Science Center)

My Endometrium


Above is an ultrasound picture of my endometrium. Today it was measuring 10.2mm.

(please note: ultrasound photo courtesy of Stephen J. Greenhouse, MD, FACOG of Shady Grove Fertility Reproductive Science Center)

Monday, June 19, 2006

Monday, Monday


Well, today was another visit to the RE's office for monitoring. I had to have my blood drawn once again and submit to another ultrasound. After three blood draws I am starting to show some "track marks" and some bruising (see above). This will get much worse by the end of the week. As of right now, I am carrying a total of 20 follicles...12 in my left ovary and 8 in my right ovary. All of the follicles are measuring between 10 and 15mm. Everything is growing nicley at this point. I can now "feel" my ovaries when I sit down. They are starting to get just a bit uncomfortable, especially the left one. My endometrium is measuring 8.8 mm, which is a nice increase from Saturday. My estrogen level came back at 810, which is also a very good increase from Saturday. I get to take one more day off in between doctor's appointments, so I do not have to go back until Wednesday. Starting Wednesday, I will be going in every day. My RE thinks that we could be doing our trigger injection (HCG, or human chorionic gonadatropin) on Friday. This trigger injection is an intramuscular injection (long needle that has to be jabbed into the backside of my hip / upper part of my buttocks) that will "trigger" ovulation. IF we do get to have the trigger injeciton on Friday, that will put us having the egg retrieval on Sunday. Things can always change, though, so nothing is written in stone as of yet.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Saturday's Update

Just got back from the RE's office. Everything is still looking great, and I have a lot going on in my ovaries. My right ovary has one measurable follicle (9.7 mm) and five other follicles under 10 mm. My left ovary has three measurable follicles (11.2 mm, 10.7 mm, 9.5 mm) and 10 other follicles under 10 mm. My uterine lining (endometrium) is showing a triple layer, which is exactly what it should be doing at this point. The endometrium is measuring 6.6 mm as well. By the time of trigger / ER the endometrium should be anywhere from 8 - 16mm. The nurse called and noted that my E2 level (estrogen) is 307. This is an excellent number for this stage of the process. It needs to be above 800 by the time of the trigger injection (E2 levels should rise 50 - 100% every other day during stims). I have to return for monitoring on Monday morning at 8:30am. After Monday's appointment, I will probably have to go for monitoring EVERY day. Once things pick up, the RE needs to keep a close eye on me to make sure that I don't overstimulate, and so they can know when to best trigger ovulation. So - that will be all until Monday!

Friday, June 16, 2006

TGIF

Well, today is Friday. It is my fifth day of stim shots, and it is my eleventh day of lupron shots. By the end of the day today, I will have received a total of 16 shots. For fun, Matt and I might start playing connect the red dots on my belly. There are plenty of them to connect. I am extremely happy that Matt has returned home, as I have had to give myself five stinkin' shots. It is no fun to shoot yourself up, and I really wonder how anyone becomes an IV drug user. I am suffering from persistent headaches every day. This is a side effect of the lupron, I believe. I go to bed with a splitting headache, and I wake up with one, as well. I am only starting to get a little bit bloated. Yesterday was another day of monitoring at the RE's office. I had more bloodwork and another ultrasound done. I was told that it was just to measure how things were getting kicked off, and I am kicking things off quite nicely. So far, I have eight potential follicles growing in my right ovary and nine potential follicles growing in my left one. Not all are guaranteed to mature, and there is still a possibility that I could produce even more. However, seventeen is a great number with which to start. I will go back to the RE's office tomorrow morning (yes...I have to go in even on Saturdays) for yet more monitoring. Tomorrow's update will provide more insight on how well the follicles are growing. As of right now, it looks like egg retrieval could be as early as next Friday. It is still all just a guessing game at this time, though.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Stim Cocktail Hour


The baseline ultrasound and bloodwork went well today. My uterine lining was fine, and both ovaries were free of cysts. One ovary had five potential follicles waiting to be stimulated, and the other ovary had six. My primary nurse called me this afternoon to tell me that I should start taking my stim shots tonight. I will be having a "stim cocktail" every evening consisting of two vials of Gonal-F (150 IU) and one vial of Menopur (75 IU). They are pictured here with my sharps container which holds all of the discarded needles. This stim cocktail is given approximately twelve hours after the lupron shots in the morning. Tomorrow the lupron will be reduced to only 5 units (down from 20 units). I will continue on the same dosage of stims and lupron through Thursday when I return to the doctor's office for more monitoring (ultrasound and bloodwork). We accidentally nicked a vein this morning while administering the lupron shot. I now have a tiny blood blister on my belly. This evening's shot was a little bit better, but we still had a small bleeder. I am officially becoming a pin-cushion! Oh the joys of IVF!

Sunday, June 11, 2006

One Step Closer...

Well, my cycle day one ended up arriving earlier than expected. Cycle day one was on Saturday, June 10th. It is required that I go to see the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) on cycle day 3 to have a "lupron evaluation". They will do a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork. This will let the doc know where my hormone levels are at this time and if my uterine lining looks as it should. If everything looks good, I will be instructed to start my stim shots (gonal-F and Menopur). These stim shots will be given in the evenings, and they will help stimulate my ovaries to produce multiple follicles (which will hopefully yield a good amount of viable eggs). So - tomorrow morning I will have the tests done, and I will more than likely begin the stim shots tomorrow night. Stay tuned!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Done with BCPs!

So - today is my last day on birth control pills (BCPs). Matt is in NYC, so I had to give myself the lupron shot in the belly this morning. The first stab was not hard enough, but I made sure the second one was. All in all, it wasn't too bad. Now that the pills are done, I have to wait for my next "cycle" to start. Once that happens I will be scheduled for a "lupron evaluation" to see where my hormone levels are at and what my uterine lining looks like. At that point they will let me know when to start stims. So - we are in a waiting pattern for a few days, but luckily enough I will still be getting a shot every day.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Let the Games Begin!


So - here we are, officially kicking off the IVF journey. Today was our first day of shots. At least for now, all we have to do is one shot of Lupron in the mornings. The process goes something like this:
  • wash hands
  • take cap off of lupron vial, and clean top of vial with an alcohol wipe
  • take cap off of disposable needle
  • pull back on plunger to draw 20 units of air into syringe
  • push needle through top of lupron vial and inject the 20 units of air
  • tip vial upside down, and draw plunger back to get 20 units of liquid
  • tap on needle to get air bubbles to top, and prime needle if necessary to release air
  • pinch a bit of skin under the bellybutton, but still near it, and wipe with alcohol
  • jab needle all the way into the skin and inject all of liquid
  • remove needle and place in Sharps container
  • stare at each other in amazement that you actually have to do this

Doesn't it all sound very romantic? We like to cuddle afterwards...

Also, I started taking the baby / children's aspirin today. It is the chewable kind, and it tastes a bit like orange flavored rat poison. No wonder children don't like taking their medicine.

Friday, June 02, 2006

All of our IVF Meds


For those of you who are getting anxious to see / learn more about our IVF process, here is a photo for you. This is a picture of all of our IVF meds...pills, shots, etc.

First Shots Begin Tuesday, June 6


The first shots we will be doing are Lupron sub-q shots. We will do the shots each morning. This particular drug is used to keep me from ovulating, so the doctors can control the entire process. I will also begin taking baby aspirin the same day. The baby aspirin is used to improve blood flow. I will continue administering the lupron shots in the belly once a day up until the time of egg retrieval (ER).

Thursday, June 01, 2006

The Whole Fam-damily....The In-Laws

Sprinkler and Smiley









Batman versus his nemesis...the Sprinkler! Also - he mentioned earlier that he can smile...well, here is the proof!

NATURE'S CHILD - a poem by Megan R.

NATURE'S CHILD
The wanton child tipped back her head
To suck the seeping sun
Golden drops of angels' flesh
Ripped through the chosen one
Drowning shadows on mountainsides
Danced to violent thunder hymns
Tripping down paled rays
Hexed by shrilling lightning screams
A rocky crest led to the shore
Swallowed by the light
Solar with lunar havens met
Spitting out the night
Halos wrapped around her head
Stretched taut with clinging bands
Harnessed winds disbanded ties
Cradling her with unseen hands
A hungry cave cut back its grin
Opening wide for its meal
Fate unwove, though shell of life,
The lone morsel stone could steal
Carefree soul now wanders earth
Bonding spirit with the land
Protected by her ancient caller
Separate now from man
Keeper of eternal growth
Meshed tight with flower sheath and tree
Her harboring body trapped forever
But her soul forever free
-Megan R.

One Day in Chi-Town...a past journal entry

The days are getting shorter. The heavy darkness of the summer nights is blanketing the sun earlier than I would like. The summer is slowly, but almost too quickly, fading away. Where does the time go? How is it that I have so lost myself in the vacuum of time that I can't even directly put my finger on to where it has slipped away? As much as I look forward to what each day and each moment will bring, I am saddened by what time has taken with its passing. But, we can't live in the past, so we must incorporate the delicious parts of it into our future. So - what do we take with us as we move on? How do we decide what is important? I guess it is all tied to feelings. That which is strongest will survive and will move on with us, hopefully growing and ever evolving. Some of the things that I would like to take with me are the fragments of relationships I've encountered - the minute bits and pieces of people who have touched me and filled up the tiny holes in my soul. I would like to take with me what it is to feel loved for exactly who I am - even if the brevity of that feeling is almost incalculable. I would like to take with me that larger than life feeling that has possesed me while in the city continuing on my path of self-exploration and self-realization. I would like to take with me the feeling of the warm sun hitting my face while it reflects off of the river below. I would like to take with me the feeling of the wind tangling itself violently into my hair without even caring what it has done to my appearance during its dance. I want to take with me all of those pure raw feelings that somehow hit me every day as I escape from the mundane pace of the rest of the world. I hope that my words can remind me of all of those intangible wonders that I have clumsily stumbled upon, yet that I have felt with an all-knowing conviction and want.
-Megan

Pre-Plunge


This is it. One of the last moments as semi-single people. The day after this we took the plunge and became Mr. and Mrs.

COLORADO





Matt and I LOVE Colorado. He went to college in Ft. Collins, and he stayed in Colorado for quite some time after graduating. I "lived" in Ft. Collins with friends the summer before starting college. I have been visiting Colorado with my family since I was just a little kid. If we could move to once place and live there forever...it would definitely be the mountain state. For right now, though, we will continue to travel there to ski, sight-see, hike, and whatever else we can do!

ps - in case you can't tell, Matt is the skier on the left...and I am the skier on the right!

The Girls



My two best friends are very different people, but both lovely in their own right. Kelly (on the left) and I went to college together. We both hated our sorority together, and spent most of our time at the bar. I must say that it did not affect my GPA in the least...it might have even helped! Kelly is married to Jason, they live in a suburb of Chicago, and they are expecting their first baby (a boy) in August. Canella (on the right) and I used to work together. I actually interviewed and hired her to replace me when I was promoted to a new position at an IT consulting firm. We hit it off from the start, and we are friends after both of us have moved on from that employer. Canella just received her associate's degree and will be continuing her education after she moves. She will be moving from Chicago to North Carolina toward the end of the year.

Please note: during this toast at my rehearsal dinner, I am toasting with a full pot of coffee. Why? Because it was there, and apparently I had misplaced my wine.

My Family



My parents, Bob and Judy, reside in a far west suburb of Chicago. They both were born and raised in northern Illinois. During the Vietnam war, my father was deployed to and stationed in Panama. My mom moved to Panama and worked in a hospital there in order to be with my dad when she could. Outside of that, Illinois has been their home. Both of my parents are retired from the insurance industry. They enjoy spending time playing in the river behind their home (fishing / canoeing / etc.). Their post-retirement routine includes taking as many road trips as possible all over the US. This summer they plan to take the motor home and head to Alaska. Their dog Eenie will be joining them on their adventure.I also have an older sister, Erin. She is married to Doug, and they have two sons. Benjamin is a little over 2 years old, and Paxon was born just this May.

The In-Laws


Jerry and Joanne are my in-laws. They still reside in a small town in Ohio. Jerry is a "retired" business owner who enjoys playing gin at the Elks Club. He is an active person who likes to work out regularly to maintain his health. In addition, he tries to travel to Colorado once a year to get in some time on the slopes. His favorite pastime is hosting tailgate parties at The Ohio State University football games. Joanne is a talented artist (water color) and an avid volunteer in her community. She has won the "volunteer of the year" award so many times that is now named after her and given out to other volunteers. Joanne's favorite pastime is trying to convince Jerry not to host OSU football game tailgate parties. Both are wonderful people to have as family.

In addition, Matt has two older siblings. His brother Scott and his family live in Ohio. Scott has two sons, Jameson and Mitchell. His sister Kim lives in Pennslyvania with her two daughters, Catherine and Maggie. Catherine is just finishing up her first year of college...nice job!...so she only lives at home part of the time.

BATMAN RETURNS



Hello, my name is Batman. I know...everyone says the same thing...I don't look like the real Batman. Please remember, though, that only the Batman costume was black, muscular, and shiny. Bruce Wayne was just a normal little white guy underneath...just like me.

I absolutely love my peeps. They take me for long walks in the park and for fun rides in the Jeep. My favorite games to play are frisbee, "hat", and football. Daddy doesn't let me play football much anymore, though, because I don't like to give the football back. Mean daddy... I also love to take drinks from the hose and to try to attack the sprinkler. Those things are crazy! I have a unique talent, which is that I can "smile" when my parents want me to. I really enjoy tearing all of the stuffing out of my toys and trying to find those cool little squeaky prizes on the inside. Who thought of such wonderful concepts for toys? When I am not out trying to save the world, I also enjoy taking naps (especially with my mommy).

My parents keep trying to tell me that I am a dog, but I still don't buy it. I am just a furry little person who happens to not be able to stand upright. I can't wait for my mommy and daddy to bring me a little brother or sister to play with. I am looking forward to the day that I will be able to clean up any baby food mishaps that find their way to the floor.

If you need any superhero assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to shine the bat symbol in the sky. I will find you...

- Batman

My Husband


I am thankful everyday for having such a wonderful person in my life. My husband, Matt, is my "favorite". He is bold, caring, ambitious, funny, loyal, and an all-around great guy. He was born and raised in a small town about an hour west of Columbus, OH. He graduated from Colorado State University in 1992. He has lived all over the US, and has traveled all over the world. He is a fantastic skier and holds Colorado dear to his heart. He is a huge sports fan, and his two favorite teams are the Dallas Cowboys and The Ohio State University Buckeyes. He has (for the most part) his dream job working for the North American headquarters for Porsche (PCNA). Who wouldn't enjoy getting to drive a race car as a perk?

Matt -

Thank you for continually speaking your mind and your heart - it melts me.
Thank you for loving me in a way that I have never experienced before and that I don't think I could ever experience with anyone else.
Thank you for being silly and for being serious.
Thank you for knowing exactly why I smile or giggle, even though I have not said a word.
Thank you for listening to me when I vent.
Thank you for laughing at me and poking fun at me when I pout or complain.
Thank you for having your eyes speak everything that my heart feels.
Thank you for just being in my life and for wanting me in yours.
I love you....

- Megan