Friday, September 25, 2009

Mom and Finn


Adrienne said...

I did have 2 healthy non colicky babies with no reflux and I didn't feel that overwhleming sensation of Love. I too was robbed of that feeling for more then their first year of life. I had a severe case of PPD and was too ashamed to admit and ask for help. I am not doubting you for one second how tough it is in your house righ now. Marriages are tested when babies come into the picture let alone a colicky baby. I will never get my girls first year back but can now say I finally have that overwhelming sensation. You too will get there and I betit will be alot sooner then 1 year. Hang in there my friend it is coming. I promise!


Anonymous said...

Great smile minus the braces! Remember, I am just a phone call away. You are not alone, praying that Miss Finnley settles down... You are a GOOD mama! love, Renata

Rachel said...

You are NOT a bad mom. You wouldn't be writing this post if you were. You love and you care, but you have reached your limit. Aside from what might be PPD, the human soul can only endure so much misery before it cracks. I know its impossible to believe right now, but your marriage, your life and your soul will all survive this awful time. I have vivid memories of standing in the pediatrician's office with 2 month old Lila begging him to fix her for fear of me losing my mind. I hated my myself, my husband and my life and wished I could take it all back. Then I failed my 6 week PPD screening and had to swear to my OB that I wasn't losing it (when I may have been).

A few months later I found myself in my OB's office again, they still called it PPD, I just called it miserable and sleep deprived! They prescribed an anti-depressant, which I waited to fill. By the following month, I knew I wouldn't need it. While Lila was still a colicky mess, things had improved (or I had adjusted). While she's still a difficult baby, she really is wonderfully amazing and Finnley will be too!

There will be a light at the end of this long tunnel, we all promise!!! Finnley will mature into a normal baby and I know it seems IMPOSSIBLE to believe, but you really will forget the pain you now feel. That first smile, the giggles, sitting, rolling, crawling, hugging and kissing- she will become a little person and you will become a happy mommy.

Lean on friends and family in this time and accept whatever help you can get. Sneak away- alone or with Matt- whenever someone offers and use the time to regroup (or drink :)

To that end, as a mother who has walked in those shoes (slippers) before you, we would be happy to keep Finn for you this or next Sat night so you and Matt can go to dinner and a movie (or drink yourself silly). Our babes go down early, and she and I could hang out and give you a break?

Also, if you ever want to meet for coffee and to wander/chat, Lila and I have Wed mornings free. We could meet downtown in Haddonfield. Just call or text 215-510-6517 if you want to make plans!

You are doing a WONDERFUL job and you will soon be rewarded, I know it! -Rachel

M and M: said...

Adrienne - thanks for your comments!

You, too, Renata!

Rachel - thanks so much for taking the time to reach out to me and share your experience. It really means a lot. These are tough times, and it is hard to see an "end" to them right now. I have passed PPD screenings, but sometimes I feel like it might be that? Then other times I just really "know" that it is the circumstances and not hormones / imbalances that are causing my issues.

In our case, reaching out to "family and friends" isn't easy. We don't have family here, and we don't have a lot of "friends" given that we just moved a year ago. I think that only adds to difficulty of dealing with the situation. But, it is what it is.

I appreciate your offer to watch Finn. We have my Sister in Law and niece coming over tomorrow night, and the following Saturday I will be in Boston with some friends while Matt watches Finn.

I would love to get together some Wed. morning to get coffee / walk around / chat. I will keep your number handy and we can make plans sometime in the coming weeks.

Thanks again, everyone!

woowoo110 said...

Love the post. Love your honesty. I'm sure it helped to "say it" on here.

You are NOT a bad mom. I am sorry you have been robbed of the experience you have waited so long to have.

I hope time passes quickly and she gets past the reflux soon.

Love ya,


M and M: said...

Love ya, too, Karen! Thanks for stopping by and commenting. It means a lot to me. -Megs

Anonymous said...

You are NOT alone in your feelings. It's great that you are able to express them here. Have you thought about asking for a GI consult for Finn? That's what helped us get through this reflux. They are a bit more aggressive than the pediatrician. You can actually go to the CHOP website and request this yourself.


M and M: said...

Robin - thanks. Our ped will refer us to a ped GI specialist, one associated with CHOP, if we want. We are refusing to put Finn on Reglan. Not going to take the referral for now just because there isn't much else that can be done...the ped said the specialist might just tweak what we are already doing (meds, reflux precautions, etc). If it gets worse, we will take the referral for sure. The past couple of days we have gotten her down to just one "episode". Not too bad, I guess. We will see how it all plays out. One day she will get better. So they say!