Sweet Whispers...

A deep sip of glorious sunshine, hot and bright. A small taste of teasing warmth usually kept locked away for another season. Sweet whispers of brilliant days to come. Lovely and well beyond. Thursday. Our day.

Spring...

When someone close to me (or even not so close to me) suffers a loss at any stage while trying to start or complete their family, I am always brought straight back to the pain that we felt on our own journey for the same cause. It is a deep and hollowing pain that only those who have experienced it directly can truly understand. I will never be naive enough to think that I know what others have gone through personally, but I can relate. On some level. In some way, no matter how small. I grieve for, with, and alongside all of my friends who have encountered heart break of an inexplicable kind, and today I share a song in response.

This song became an "anthem" for me during the many years we struggled to have our daughter, especially given all of the losses we had along the way. It always felt like a calming and understanding blanket in which to wrap up my pain, and it remains a favorite song of mine today. JBT's other music is amazing, too...but this one is just special. They have never recorded this song. It has only been played and captured live. Some pain is only meant to be shared in "private", and John Butler does that so well.

Here is "Spring":

The Zoo

The oldest zoo in the country, to be exact. The Philadelphia Zoo was the first zoo in America, and yesterday we had the pleasure of partaking in its splendid offerings. It was partly sunny and 60 degrees, so it was beyond enjoyable to be outside for a change. We walked around. We saw the animals and sights. We cast shadows. We crawled on benches (well, Finnley did). We ate lunch outside! We discovered new wonders (Finnley's favorite attraction? The Bobcat. Not the animal, but the machine that was moving snow. Sigh.). We loved every second of it, and we left plastered with smiles but also aching for Spring and more days that can't help but draw you out. Soon enough, hopefully, and then we can be "done" with colds for awhile and spend some much anticipated and needed time doing ANYTHING that is not contained by four walls and a roof. Soon. Hopefully. Soon...

To My Wife

Hey look! The hubby gets to be a guest writer on the blog today. Why today? Because it's Valentine's Day. And I am on a business trip. Work gets in the way of romance again. So here are some random thoughts about my wife on this day.

My wife is amazing! This is our 9th Valentines's Day as a couple. And after 9 years I can easily say I would do it all over again, just the way we have done it so far. I love that girl more than anyone probably knows. I have seen her at her worst and I have seen her at her best. Her worst is still better than many people's best.

Patience. Tolerance. Seeing the good in others. She has taught me all of these things while teaching me to be a dog lover. I witnessed her patience first hand when we first brought our yellow lab home. As I was telling her we needed to return him, she kept her patience and told me that we needed to give him a chance because she saw something good in him as a puppy. She didn't want us to give up on a good thing. Our dog is now 7 years old, and he's the best little guy anyone could ask for. The only reason I have a friend like him is because my wife was patient with him (and me) when he was a puppy.

Go with the flow and experience life. My wife goes with the flow better than anyone I know. I moved her to different states 4 times in the first 5 years of marriage, just so I could have a better opportunity for my career. This was a girl who had never moved in her life. 4 times in 5 years (including 30 days before our wedding) would break most people. Not Megs. She smiled the whole way, never complained, and made the best of every new neighborhood. Even when I left her to go on a business trip (on a cruise ship in Portugal)right after a move, and she had to unpack every box. She has the strongest soul and the greatest outlook when it comes to adventure.

Determination. If my wife is struggling with something she remains steadfastly determined to overcome the odds. Thank God. As we struggled through fertility treatments early in our marriage, she never gave up. Not after miscarriage after miscarriage. Not after the romance was taken out of our marriage and I was giving her shots in her ass in the parking lot of a gas station...just for a chance at having a child. She even took on a full time job to save money for fertility treatments after benefits ran out. Many would give up after 5 years of this. Megan did not. Thank God.

Wife and Mom. My wife is a mom. A damn good one, too. On this day of love, I wish anyone could see my wife as she helps a toddler navigate her way through life. Unconditional love at its best. Megs and Finn are buddies. They won't always be, but right now they are. And already I get to see my wife teach our daughter patience, tolerance, and love. This is what she does. Every single day. Finnley is lucky.

I love my wife and my family! I love them each and every day. I would be happy if I were stranded on an island with this cast of characters. We have fun! We laugh. We enjoy life. Not much passes us by. We have never given up. We communicate with each other and work through things that bother us. Then we forgive, drink wine, and watch The Bachelor. HA! OK, we actually forgive, drink wine, and find that one little thing that makes us say "I would do it all over again."

Happy Valentine's Day to my wife and friend, my daughter, and my dog. I love you all unconditionally. I love you more every day. I love you.

I Heart My Husband.

Today on Valentine's Day. And on our worst days. On our best days. Each and every day.

I would marry him again in a heartbeat. I would chose him again as a best friend, soulmate in sarcasm, husband, companion for difficult journeys, partner in crime, and, ultimately, as the best father possible to our beautiful little girl.

He isn't perfect. I am not perfect. I truly believe with all that I am, though, that we are perfect for each other.

Love you, M. On this day and always. xoxoxo. M.

Fridays...

...bring out the rockstar in all of us. Don't they???

Bees.

As in, "busy as".  That usually sums us up, and this week has been no different.  We have gone to Gymboree to play with friends.  We have met other friends to have juice and then gone on to check out a preschool program with them (yes, you read that right!).  We have headed into Camden to the Adventure Aquarium to visit the hippos and fishies.  Today we went to our first ever kiddy Valentine's Day party, and we followed up that fun with a trip to the doctor (just a stye in the left eye...nothing some antibiotic drops can't fix for Ms. Finn).  Tomorrow we will head to our usual Stroller Strides class.  Saturday?  Well, Saturday maybe we will find time to breathe!  Just kidding.  We usually manage that pretty well among all of the other things that we do.  We have a good routine going, and we usually have pretty interesting and amazing days.  Not too much else we could ask for than that!

Here is picture view of our week:

The Escape Artist

Any time you tell Finnley that it is "time to leave"?  She runs.  Fast.  

With a smile and a giggle.  That's our girl.

Life in Training

A video of Finnley while at the Please Touch Museum earlier today.  She is such a little person now...such a silly little person.

MAGICAL...

Such is the life of a toddler at the museum on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

18 months and counting...

18 months.  Yesterday.  So hard to believe our baby is now...well, not a baby anymore!  She is a full-blown toddler at a year and a half old.  She tries hard to prove that each and every day, too.  I say, good for her (although, sometimes it is not so good for mommy).

So, how goes things at Finnley's ripe old age?  She is now clocking in at 31.5 inches (same as last appointment, which means they measured her wrong last time.  whatever).  That puts her in the 50th percentile for height.  She gained a bit of weight and is now a whopping 22 lbs 2 oz.  That puts her in the 18th percentile for weight (still tiny, but mighty!).  Lastly, I do not even remember what her noggin measured, but I do know that the measurement puts her 93rd percentile for head circumference.  According to all of this?  Well, Finnley is fairly tall, thin, and has gigantic brains housed in her gigantic head which should truly cause her to walk around with her nose scraping the floor.  It doesn't, though.  She is a wonder.  A true wonder.

Finnley is meeting or exceeding all milestone expectations put upon her at this stage.  A mom loves to hear that.  The doctor even commented that she LOVED hearing about Finnley throwing tantrums already.  Apparently she thinks this makes Finnley "smart".  I think it makes Finnley obnoxious, although I am not denying the smart aspect.  The two seemingly go hand in hand at this point.

There are only 4 more teeth for our little girl to cut, and those are her two year molars.  That is it.  Where did the time go?  Before we know it, she will start losing those same teeth.  At least there is a few year break in between all of the nonsense with oral growth, expulsion, and more growth.

Supposedly in the next 6 months, we should expect Finn to experience a verbal explosion.  "Most" kids do during this time period.  There is always a big curve for what children do and when, though, so I won't hold onto this 6 month period as "ephiphany" time in the word-world.  It would be fun to witness, though...so I do look forward to it when it does happen.  At least at this point Finnley has a great grip on the words "ma-ma" and "da-da" and uses them with accuracy quite regularly.  When she comes up to me, puts her hand on my chest to pat me, and then says "ma-ma"...I melt.  No sweeter words have fallen upon my ears.  I am sure that "da-da" feels the same when she calls out for him.  Simple, yet so amazing.

And, as Finnley continues to learn and grow...I continue to move in fast-forward motion all the time.  I am always zipping here and there, hurrying to change a diaper, scurrying to get a meal on the table fast enough for a hungry girl.  I have discovered this past week, though, that sometimes slowing down is best.  And safest.  This week I have been sick while zipping, hurrying, and scurrying.  A dangerous combination, exemplified by my taking a swig of cough syrup to soothe my throat, only to find out that it was NIGHT TIME cough syrup...and it was only mid-afternoon.  Such is the life of a mom of an eighteen month old.  And, for the record?  I stayed awake the whole rest of the day.  I even cooked dinner, bathed my child, and accomplished other expected normal daily tasks.  Toddlers are curious, explorative, adventurous, and stubborn...and they have met their match in their moms.  So, go me...and go us!

Looking forward to the next six months of delightful craziness...