The Odd Couple

A glimpse into our first 24 hours of vacation.

The drive

out the door, in the car, on the road by 8:30am

first stop? 9:30am. agenda? pee and get snacks/drinks. Megan gets a 12 oz. V8 fusion drink. Matt gets wasabi peas and a diet Coke.

10am. Megan is already cursing the fact that she drank a 12 oz. ANYTHING. have to pee. Honey????

10:30am. stop to pee. Thanks, honey!

noonish time. Panera bread. Matt gets PB&J and chicken noodle soup. Megan gets a tuna sandwich. Back on the road in no time.

3pm. ALMOST (and I mean within a mile) to our destination! But, we need to stop so Matt can participate in his month-end wrap up conference call because nothing says vacation like a little work!

3:15pm. Matt's part is over. Call on mute. Continue to destination.

Destination - B&B

Meet up with the inlaws. Mother in law says I am not as big as she thought I would be. Father in law says I look pretty pregnant. Guess we will stay!

No more need to track time. We are on vacation.

Sit on deck overlooking river water that rises and falls with the tide twice a day. Call still on mute.

Call ends sometime this century. Matt can talk to his parents without background drivel.

Meet owners of B&B. Meet others staying at B&B. HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! (Doesn't anyone notice the starving pregnant woman in the corner with an evil hunger in her eyes? Oh wait, her husband does!!!)

Food

cruise over to Noonan's for lobster.

Megan gets lobster salad. Matt gets TWO 1.25 pound Maine lobster. Who is eating for two??? hmmmm.

Ben and Jerry's is closed. Bastards! So are the other ice cream shops in town. Co-horts of Bastards! Ahhh...little general store is open and sells ice cream!

Megan gets Maine Tracks ice cream. Matt gets his old standby...plain chocolate.

Hunger has been satiated, then beaten with a huge stick, and finally buried somewhere in the proverbial yard of the B&B. ahhhhh!

Rest and Relaxation

Mother in law reads.

Father in law and Matt play gin. Matt beats up on father in law quite handily. My hero!

Megan plays on computer. Addict? Nahhhhh.

Bedtime

Matt and Megan cozy into the queen (where is our huge King size bed like at home?) bed.

Feels like third person in bed with us given pregnancy pillows. Sure husband is amused!

Matt turns on TV. Ghostbusters is on! Fun!

Mandatory channel changing and program searching begins.

Wait, honey...that is "The Little Couple" on TLC. Good show.

Matt grunts. Channel changing resumes.

Nothing is on, so Matt enables the remote to switch between ABC and TLC (wife wins!)

Matt groans. "...we're watching midgets while we are in too small of a bed on our vacation...ridiculous"

Megan laughs. "...this is ridiculous...and, they like to be called 'little people'..."

End of episode. Permission to change to ABC.

Megan realizes this is the Bob Woodruff special about the year 2100. "Honey, nobody likes to watch pessimistic futuristic stupid cartoons while on vacation."

Back to the already in progress next episode of the midgets. Doctor little person is conducting a seminar on medical simulation using a pregnant mannequin in the birthing / after birthing process.

Matt says, "...know what I would like to see? the mannequin pushing the baby out her butt." (cockeyed grin inserted here)

Megan says,"OMG...well, the LAST thing I would want to do is push a baby out my butt. and, not very realistic!"

Matt says, "...well, it would make for a good SIMULATION!"

Megan chokes on laughter, "...ok, so doctors need to be prepared because women could someday possibly be crapping out babies?"

Matt thinks and says, "maybe!"

Yes...this is what WE do on vacation.

Sleep or something like that

1:38am (time in the middle of the night is always important. not sure why, but it IS, damn it!) pregnant chick must uncomfortably roll out of bed to pee AGAIN.

6:22am. We are up. (Really???) Matt goes for run. Megan blogs.

So, this is a day in the life. Scared? Jealous? A little of both? Understandable. But, I do love our life, and I do love my husband for always making me laugh and for being just as weird as me...at home...on vacation...or wherever we are at. A beautiful thing, indeed.