Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Pregnant Air Travel Haiku

Flying while preggo.
Airline to worry? Hell yeah!!!
Fear is good for them.

I am sure to be a bit nervous, too...but worrying never helped anything did it?? Nah. Or is it that worrying ALWAYS HELPS EVERYTHING?? I always get those things confused! So, I am just going to get on that big old plane a week from this Thursday and fly my semi-firm yet rotund ass back on home to Chicago to see my family and friends. It would be rude for me to miss my own baby shower, wouldn't it? Even if I am going to be flying while 31 weeks-scarily-pregnant? Indeed. It would be rude. Life is all about challenge, experience, and perseverance...right? I am sure to take in all three during my adventure. Get me to that party, bring on the games that everyone loathes, and...most importantly...just be sure to feed the fat lady in the corner some cake!

Note: Below is my mother's response to this particular post. Clarifying? Yes. However, she does fail to realize that at least half of the flight attendants are gay men...and I doubt many have delivered their own baby. With that being said...I am letting her have a voice. Just for today.

#1 The fat lady better not be sitting in the corner. She needs to sit in the middle by all of her friends and gifts.

#2 There will be no games that everyone loathes. There will be no games. Period.

#3 Flight attendants have delivered babies before...or most have. Usually their own.

#4 Not only will there be cake (plenty for the fat lady) but there will be fruit, snacks and wine (but no wine for the fat lady!)

#5 If said fat lady wants to be picked up at the airport, she needs to get the pertinent information to those who would be willing to pick her up. (One of them willing even come to baggage claim and help with the fat lady's suitcase)

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