Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Odd Man Out

Not that that is any different than the norm for me. And, not that I really care. It just is what it is.

I follow a lot of blogs. I love parenting blogs, especially, because now that I am a parent...it is good to see how other people deal with life and go about raising their children. There is a lot of humor in parenthood. There are a lot of mistakes to be made. There are a lot of differences, and yet a lot of commonalities. Parents like to make constant comparisons, and they like to pick and choose those things that provide bragging material regarding their own wee one. I get most of it. I enjoy most of it. I relate. I do.

Lately, the blogs that I read, though, have been discussing how sad these particular parents feel about the transition from infancy to toddlerhood. I read all about how their babies are not babies anymore. How the next thing you know their child won't be romping about in diapers and giggling at nonsense and needing their parents for EVERYTHING, but rather will be out on their own and earning their college degrees. How their babies' worlds just won't revolve simply around them anymore.

As I said, I get it. I do. From their perspectives.

But me? I do not frown upon this transition at all. NOT. AT. ALL. I celebrate it. Openly. Loudly. Proudly. Daily. Hourly. Every single second. All of it!

I am actually thrilled that Finnley is now knocking on the door to toddlerdom. The look of wonder in her eyes grows bigger as her understanding of her world around her does. She is toddling. Walking. Babbling. Making gestures that we actually comprehend. She is a mini person now. Not a blob. Not a thing to just lug around in a carrier and plop next to you as you eat in a restaurant. We have an interactive little explorer, and I do not miss a bit what she "was" before.

Every parenting circumstance is varied. Our experience with infancy was varied by the fact that Finnley suffered from severe reflux. She was uncomfortable a lot. She vomited multiple times daily. Full size bath towels were our burp cloths. Going out was a scary thing that took grand amounts of thought and preparation. Perhaps THIS has something to do with me not missing the newborn days or the months of infancy. In addition, Finnley has never been a cuddly clingy baby. She has never preferred being rocked to sleep in her mother's arms to being put in her crib to self-soothe. So, where some parents might just now be adjusting to a baby who needs them less...I have been well-adjusted to that scenario the whole time. Don't get me wrong...Finnley needs me. She needs her daddy. But, she isn't needy. She has always been an independent little daredevil princess.

The doctor says this type of personality is a sign of intelligence. I will take her word for it. It helps me feel better in the moments where my daughter rejects my comforting hold and my soothing rubs. And, I take more joy in watching what a little firecracker she is as she engages in independent play.

I do not wish away these days. I have not wished away any of them (well, maybe some of the puking days). But, I LOOK FORWARD to each new phase with Finnley. I do not look back with regret that I won't have my "baby" anymore. I don't long for what yesterday held. Instead, I have such hope for each future phase. I cannot wait until Finnley can better communicate with us. Until Finnley can know what we are saying. Until Finnley can run and not just toddle. Until...ahhhh...until SOOO MUCH!

Maybe every parent has an "age" that they will love the most and will want to freeze that particular point in time and not move forward? I don't think I have experienced that age just yet, so I just wait for each new day and see what it brings. I love watching every moment that Finnley grows into the future her. She is brilliant and funny and beautiful and mobile and a big ball of mischief. I cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings...and the next day...and the next week, and month, and year, and years after that.

I think my favorite "age" is the age that Finnley is today and each current "today" hereafter.


Anonymous said...

Well stated, and I totally agree with you! I feel the same way with my little girl who turned one. Bring it on :) I love seeing her grow and learn everyday.

M and M: said...

Thanks...so, there is another "club" out there! The one where we don't love infancy but enjoy the growing and learning process to no end? Woo hoo! ha!

Anonymous said...

Oooh, I forgot to ask you where you got that clever net for all the bath toys?

M and M: said...

The net came from the devil of a life, time, and money- suck store...Babies R Us.

Anonymous said...