IUI

Well, it is all done with. The IUI took place this morning. This wasn't the greatest IUI cycle for us by any means. It wasn't horrible, either. I had two follicles which should have been mature by the IUI today. Our sperm count was a bit low, especially compared to all of the other cycles we have done. They want a washed motile sperm count to be at least above 5 million for IUI. Our final washed motile count today was 7.6 million. An ideal count for IUI would be between 20 and 30 million, although anything above 10 million is pretty good. So, our chances are not the best for this cycle to have worked....but then again, things have never worked out great for us, so this wouldn't be any different. At least this cycle wasn't too invasive or too expensive. I will have a progesterone check in one week. Outside of that, we just wait and do a HPT in two weeks to see if we are pregnant or not. Stay tuned...but don't get too excited...we aren't...

IUI Update

RE appt. for monitoring on Friday was a bit disappointing. I only had one large follicle...and one smaller one. I was told to shoot up one more ampule of menopur and come back on Saturday for more monitoring.

Well, today (Saturday) is of course Ohio State / Michigan game day. Matt ended up dropping me off at the doctor's office for my bloodwork appt. at 7:30am and my u/s appt. at 8am. He left from there to go to the Ohio State alumni bar...he needed to secure parking and then a seat for us for the game. The bar was opening at 8am. Well, while he was doing that, my appointment went just fine. I now have two good follicles for my IUI. After my appointment I had to call a cab company to come get me and then drop me off at the bar. Nurse called and left a message. Apparently my estrogen is high, so they are having me do my IM trigger shot tonight. My IUI will then take place on Monday morning (36 hours after the shot). Well, after all of that....BUCKEYES WIN!!! So, all in all, a very good day. Oh, the things we go through in an effort to start a family AND for the love of football!

New Dress / Updated 'Do

This was before going to the CSU wine tasting event at the historic Oxford Hotel in Lodo. Finally found a stylist who knows how to deal with my hair...she can bust a thick wig like no other. So, my hair is all cleaned up and shaped properly for the first time in about 6 months. Matt and I had a great time at the event downtown. Very fun! On a separate note...already experiencing hot flashes and extremely vivid dreams thanks to the clomid. Only my second day on it, too. This will be fun for sure!

IUI - November 2007

The baseline ultrasound took place today. Perfect as usual. All is quiet on the uterine and ovarian front. I received all of my prescriptions today, and things kickoff tomorrow. I will start the clomid tomorrow (taken cycle days 5 through 9). Two pills once a day...total of 100 mg each day (hot flashes, moodiness, and other side effects go along with this med). On cycle days 9 and 10 I will do one ampule of menopur (one subcutaneous shot each day in the belly). I go back one week from tomorrow for monitoring: bloodwork and u/s. Turns out that I will be doing a trigger shot, and unfortunately it will be an intramuscular injection (think huge needle / butt shot). Just one IM injection isn't too bad, though. So...here we go. Wish we were more excited, but this time we are just sort of going through the motions because the IUI is our cheapest option. Stay tuned....riveting, I know!

Happy Halloween 2007

Haven't updated for a little while. Not much to share, I guess. Just living life in beautiful Colorado. Thought I would put a couple of our Halloween pics on the blog for fun. Batman was an awesome sport, per the usual. Such a good boy!

Gambling in Vegas...or the equivalent of it in the IF world

So, after really no thinking at all, we decided NOT to do the IVF with genetic embryo testing. $20K is way too much money to spend on a possibility. We just aren't into flushing that much money down the toilet at this point. Not sure we will ever be into that, actually.

Dr. Surrey at CCRM told us that in our case doing an IUI would be like gambling in Vegas: the odds are certainly stacked against us. We figured, using his analogy, that there are also circumstances where people beat the odds and win big. So, that is what we are going to do....gamble.

We are all set to do an IUI (with injectables) cycle in November. My biggest hope at this point is that it does not affect the travel that Matt has scheduled for that time. It will be within days of his planned trip, so we are cutting it close. At Kaiser, though, they do not do IUIs in December....and I plan to travel to Chicago in January. It is now or not for quite some time. We chose now.

Here is the rundown:

call the clinic on CD 1

go in anytime prior to CD 5 for ultrasound and bloodwork

take clomid on CD 5 through CD 9

do injections of either menopur or repronex (FSH) on CD 9 and CD 10

go in on CD 12 for ultrasound and bloodwork

wait for natural LH surge (no trigger shot for this cycle!)

after surge is detected, schedule IUI for the following day (I think)

We are not putting a lot of faith or hope into this cycle working. We do know the odds. Even if it does work, I would have at least a 30% chance of another miscarriage. We are willing to take all of the chances, though, because an IUI cycle will only cost us about $1000. I like betting in small amounts.....

We will keep you posted. This cycle will be completed prior to the Thanksgiving holiday. Keep us in your thoughts and wish us luck. We could use some....

Appointment with Dr. Surrey at CCRM

So, we really didn't learn anything new. It was basically what we were expecting. Our best option (and the one Dr. Surrey is recommending) is IVF with genetic testing of embryos prior to putting them back. PGD costs about an additional $4000. They are also doing a study right now at CCRM on a new genetic testing procedure where they test all the embryo cells for all the most common abnormalities. This testing would take 3 to 4 weeks, so all the embryos would have to then be frozen for a later transfer. Because it is a study, it would only cost an additional $1000 (versus the $4000 for PGD). Sadly, they don't discount the cycle itself. You don't have to pay for a full FET cycle, but you still pay for the transfer. He would have us repeat a TON of testing (including FSH...which I JUST DID!), in addition to doing some new sperm tests. All in all, a cycle would cost us at least $20K. Hmmmm...doesn't sound so great to me! Dr. Surrey said even if all the embryos turned out to be bad and we couldn't do a transfer, at least we would have one answer.....yeah, for the low low cost of $20K. Not bad!

Dr. Surrey equated us doing an IUI cycle with gambling in Vegas. It COULD work, but the odds are certainly against us. Yes, but at $1500 a pop, it seems like a nicer bet to take! I think dh and I have decided to do an IUI through our carrier /doctor(Kaiser) in November. I am going to ask him about taking baby aspirin and steroids just as a precaution going into the cycle. If it doesn't hurt, why not?

Anyway, that is the state of the union. His only thought on the miscarriage issue is that it is just bad luck with chromosomal abnormalities of the embryos. Each cycle / batch is different, so we still have hope. No second thoughts on my endometriosis, except he doesn't recommend another surgery, which is good.

So, there ya have it!

More to come down the road, I am sure......

Skydiving - Megan

Skydiving - Matt

Happy Anniversary to Me!!!!

Well, yesterday (September 12th) was our 4 year wedding anniversary. Yay! I celebrated the occasion by taking Matt out to dinner at Maggianos in the DTC (Denver Tech Center). Great wine, food, and company!

Matt one-upped me for sure with his present....we are going sky-diving on Saturday!!! We will be sky-diving with Mile-Hi-Skydiving in Longmont. We will free-fall for approximately one minute at 134 mph. Wow! There will be views of the mountains from where we drop. I have wanted to do this forever, so I really cannot wait! We will update with photos/ video when we can!

On a completely different note, we are going to see a specialist at CCRM on October 4th. Dr. Surrey is an internationally recongnized researcher / specialist in endometriosis. He also works for the #1 fertility clinic in the US. Not bad. If nothing else, knowledge is power. We are looking for insight into our miscarriage issues / the possiblity of success with additional IUIs or other tx. We shall see. We will update after our consult.

In addition, I am leaving on October 5th to meet up with my other "Infertilty Warriors". For the partakers, we are SUPERSTARS AND SURVIVORS! You all know who you are, and I love you dearly! I can't wait to meet you in Mystic, CT!!!!!

Onward and Upward!

Truncated version of the letter sent to the Oprah Show

The Oprah Show wants to know what you have to say in 2000 characters (including spaces) or less, so this is what it had to be:

Part of me will be forever empty without being able to create and bear a child with the man I love. In 4 yrs. my husband and I have done 3 rounds of Clomid, 3 IUIs, 1 fresh IVF cycle, and 2 FETs. I have been pregnant 3 times through treatment, but have lost all 3 pregnancies. When the proliferation of what I am feeling at a certain moment seems overwhelming, I have to remind myself every day that I am nowhere near alone in my suffering. I am one of a countless number of women or couples who have similar stories. Infertility does not discriminate, and it is surely not kind. It affects people of all races, ages, religions, and socio-economic backgrounds. Look at ANY face that you encounter in your life on any given day, and that could be the face of infertility. I attribute my “survival” to my husband and a special group of women whom I have never met face to face. We were all brought together by our similar circumstances and found each other on Fertility Neighborhood website. We come together because we all know what it is like to be asked every day, do you have children? And we all try to nicely shout out “CHILDLESS NOT BY CHOICE!” We have all experienced the same insensitivities put upon us by others who have not walked in our shoes. We come from the US, Trinidad, Greece, and Australia. We have decided to meet for the first time in Oct. in what we are calling a reunion. The whole group can’t come, but we will ALL be there in spirit. I guess if I never get to realize my dream, I can at least say that I found the silver lining in my dark cloud: my other infertility warriors. I would not have known them if not for my struggles. Sometimes we have to dig deep to find our purpose in life, but this group all believes that we have found this out through each other. Brought together by sadness, but triumphant through the unwavering support that we give and receive every day. We wish for peace for all of us in whatever form it comes.

Letter submitted to the editor at People Magazine

Your magazine is titled, People. The title suggests that it actually represents just that, however, the multitude of stories you plaster on your cover aren’t about REAL people. They are about this superfluous group of the upper-echelon of our society that most of us have no real attachment to or understanding of. I applaud the magazine when your do focus on stories which tell about a true cross-section of the real world and give us a glimpse into a life that could very well be our own. Sometimes we want to escape, but other times we desperately want to relate.


So many recent issues focus on the celebrity pregnancy phenomenon of late. Everywhere you turn a new celebrity is sporting a baby bump. The media makes it seem like getting pregnant and having a baby is so easy and that we all should celebrate along with these stars. You have recently touched on the fact, though, that it is NOT that easy for everyone. The story you shared regarding Martha Stewart’s daughter reveals a harsher reality that a large number of women (and couples) face every day, the reality of infertility. I do respect the fact that the article did shed some light upon the hardships involved, but I still feel that it only began to scratch the surface of what infertility is really like. Martha Stewart’s daughter expresses how lucky she is to be able to go through treatments without dire financial consequences. This is sadly not a luxury most people can easily afford. I also know of all the coverage involving Brooke Shields and her journey through infertility. I do not take anything away from Brooke. She truly did suffer and knows the heartache involved in this process. She represents the situation well. However, she also had the financial freedom to continue pursuing her dream for as long as she wanted or could. She also received her miracles and happy endings. So many do not. If you want to know what infertility is REALLY like, I would love to introduce you to myself and a small group of amazing women that I am blessed to know.


I write to you because I am one of the suffering. I am one that looks at the pages of magazines every day and wishes so desperately that I could experience the same joys of pregnancy and motherhood that are displayed in every corner of the print and broadcast world. I listen to the lyrics of the song “I Would Die For That” by Kellie Coffey and think….that is exactly how I feel. I (embarrassingly) internally cringe, wince, and feel sad every time I see a pregnant woman on the streets, at the store, or at the gym. I am happy for friends that achieve this dream with or without effort, but also grieve for myself every time since I am not able to share in or relate to their experiences. At this point in my life, it is not in my cards to join that special club.


I am relatively young (33). I am in excellent health. I have an amazing relationship with my husband. In all of this I am blessed. But, part of me will be forever empty without being able to create and bear a child with the man I love. I suffer from mild endometriosis, but outside of that, there is no explanation for my inability to conceive. I have been through every test under the sun to no avail. I have been through a total of over two years of trying to conceive the natural way. I have been through almost two years of treatments as well. My husband and I have tried 3 rounds of Clomid, three IUIs, one fresh IVF cycle, and two FETs. The amount of shots I have received or given myself is too numerous to tally. I have managed to become pregnant three times through treatment, but have devastatingly lost all three chances at motherhood early on. Suffering from recurrent pregnancy loss or recurrent miscarriage is an added complication to our situation. I have been through all the tests related to miscarriage as well, but once again, there is no explanation for my situation, except for bad luck. Becoming pregnant in the future sadly does not guarantee us a happy ending.


I cannot even begin to put into words the roller-coaster of emotions that have accompanied our journey thus far. At this point, my husband and I no longer have the proper insurance coverage to pursue more attempts, and we do not have enough rainy day cash to pay for the treatments all by ourselves. And, although we are strong, we are not sure that we have gained back enough emotional strength to try again. We are in limbo. We do not know our fate at this time, but we have to hold on to the belief that we will be given our blessing in time.


I have to remind myself every day that I am nowhere near alone in my suffering. This sad but simple fact is what keeps me from feeling too sorry for myself, even when the proliferation of what I am feeling at a certain moment can seem suffocating. I am one of a countless number of women or couples who have similar stories. Infertility does not discriminate, and it is surely not kind. It affects people of all races, ages, religions, and socio-economic backgrounds. Look at ANY face that you encounter in your life on any given day, and that could be the face of infertility.


I have survived my journey to this point by gaining strength through each step and failure, and by knowing that I will be okay in the end, no matter the outcome. I try to hold onto the thought that I was faced with this challenge because I could handle it, where others could not. My marriage is stronger today because my husband and I have a faced all of this together. We share a bond that many others could not truly understand. In our grief and our perseverance we have grown closer.


My husband is not the only reason that I have come through this with my dignity, my sense of humor, and most of myself intact. I also attribute my “survival” to a special group of women whom I have never met face to face. We were all brought together by our similar circumstances, and by our need to reach out to others who could understand. We have been “by each other’s sides” throughout various parts of our journeys, and we continue to support each other every day. We have all found each other on the Fertility Neighborhood website on a posting thread entitled “Anyone in 2ww – 2007”. We share the good and bad times, and through it all have become great friends. We bring levity to our situations by talking about everyday topics in addition to the common link that brought us together. We come from NJ, MA, PA, IL, MI, CO, CA, Trinidad, Greece, and Australia. Some of us have realized our dreams, while others are still pursuing them. It is an amazing thing that we have found….true friendship and understanding.


This friendship and understanding is what is bringing some of our group together in person for the first time. We have decided to meet in what we are calling a “reunion”. At least 8 of us will be meeting up in Mystic, CT in October this year. Others are not able to come at the time for various reasons. Some of our friends are continuing treatment and cannot travel. Others do not have the financial means to join us given that they are saving up to pay for their next attempt. Others are living in foreign countries, and it just isn’t feasible for them to make the trip at this time. HOWEVER, we will ALL be there in spirit.


We come together because we all know what it is like to be asked every day… do you have children? We can share in the sometimes uncomfortable responses, trying to nicely shout out “CHILDLESS NOT BY CHOICE!” We understand members of our group who have a child, but who have suffered for them, and who are currently suffering to have another. We know the realities: you will not automatically get pregnant if you “relax”, you will not be granted a pregnancy just because you have now chosen to adopt, you will not be blessed just because you stopped caring. In other words, we have all experienced the same insensitivities put upon us by others who have not walked in our shoes.


Some people think we are crazy or too trusting to pack our bags and hop on a plane or drive to a destination to meet a bunch of people we only “know” from the internet. But, I can guarantee you, nobody knows me better than this small melting pot of women. Nobody understands my good days and bad days in a more profound way. I guess if I never get to realize my dream of being a mommy, I can at least say that I found the silver lining in my dark cloud: my other infertility warriors. I would have never known them had it not been for my struggles. Sometimes we have to dig deep to find our purpose in life or to find the meaning of our fates, but this group all believes that we have found those things through each other. We were brought together by misery and struggle, but we triumph through the unwavering support that we give and receive on this special board every day.


We all hope that by sharing our stories (whether through the support boards, through the media, or just through our interactions with each other) that we will help other people out there who feel they are suffering through this alone. We hope to educate in order to facilitate a better understanding with our “fertile friends” out there. We wish for peace for all of us in whatever form it comes.

CCT Results

The CCT is now complete, and the results are in. Everything looks really good, and I have a good ovarian reserve (good eggs).

FSH levels day 3: 6.3
FSH levels day 10: 4.0

E2 levels day 3: 26
E2 levels day 10: 178

They want the FSH levels to be under 10, and they like to see a decrease in the levels between day three and day ten. The E2 level on day three should be less than 80. On day 10 it should have increased. Mature follicles (right before ovulation) general have an E2 level of 200. With mine being 178, it indicates that I have one follicle near maturation and that ovulation will happen soon.

Anyway, since our results are good, we are free to continue trying naturally...and we are also candidates to do IUIs (and/or IVF) in the future if we want. All good news.

Clomid Challenge Test (CCT)

My RE with Kaiser suggested doing a CCT in order to find out if my ovaries are still acting their age. Everything else has been ruled out as an issue, so he felt it only made sense to do this one last thing. If everything is fine with the test, it means that we should be able to continue trying on our own, or with treatment....nothing really standing in our way.

The test consists of a blood draw on cycle day3, taking clomid from cycle days 5 through 9, and repeating the blood draw on cycle day 10. They are checking FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) and estradiol (estrogen / E2) levels.

My cycle day three draw resulted in the following:
FSH level of 6.3 (anything under 10 is promising)
E2 level of 26 (anything under 80 is a good sign...mine is on the low side of normal, but not probelmatic)

So, now I am taking clomid (think moodiness, headaches / dizziness, hot flashes). Will keep you posted on the next results.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ

Great song and video! Very meaningful.

Not much to report....

Not a whole lot to report on here. Everything is going swimmingly here in C-O-L-O-R-A-D-O. The weather has been a bit sloppy and ugly here the past week, but we look forward to great weather in the week ahead. Last weekend we dusted off the mountain bikes and road from Parker to Cherry Creek Resevoir. Great ride, but a little much for the first outing of the season (about 40 miles round trip). We've been entertaining family and friends this past weekend (betting on the Kentucky Derby and celebrating Cinco de Mayo) and now have to get back to running errands and finishing up punch list items at the house. Nothing new on the fertility front because....we are done with that bit for now and maybe forever. Ahhhh...feels kind of nice not to be stuck full of holes and drowning in hormones. Gotta run....updates will be posted on an erratic and unscheduled basis.

Ground Zero

Well, we are now at a technical negative. I went to a clinic here in Parker to have my beta done again last Wednesday. It came back at an 8, which this lab considers a negative pregnancy test. I am all in the clear and have been released from my RE. Now, we do nothing but enjoy our new home, our new town, and each other. It feels kind of nice for a change.

The house is coming together quite well. EVERYTHING is unpacked, and most everything is put away and decorated. We don't waste any time. I love cooking in my huge new kitchen. It is quite lovely. To view some pics of the new place (we didn't take an exterior photo/nor did we take any of the master or the baths), feel free to visit our photo website: http://www.picasaweb.google.com/ritter911

Take care!

Track Marks

Well, apparently I get to continue adding to my track mark collection. My numbers on Wednesday last week were still positive at 26.2. My RE is requesting to still monitor my numbers down to negative even though I have moved out of state. I will be going for another blood draw this Wednesday and hoping for the best. I can't even begin to tell you how sick I am of this process. It takes twice as long to go through the miscarriage process as anything else it seems. Oh well.

We are now in our new home in Colorado. That is the good news! The bad news is the contract on our home in VA fell through, so we now technically own two homes. Oh joy! We desperately hope that it sells quickly now that it is back on the market. Wish us luck! It is beautiful in our new home and new neighborhood. The neighbors are great as well. I think this is going to be a great move all around for us.

On the move!

Hi all! This is Megan's husband Matt that is posting today. Megan wanted me to report that she must return for one more blood test as her hormone levels were still above 30 as of this morning. She will return on Thursday for one final test.

Thursday also happens to be the day we are moving from Virginia to our new home in Parker, CO. I have spent the last two months there at my new job and recently closed on a home for us. We are now in a golf course community with access to the Cherry Creek bike path system, which means we can ride from our home in Parker, through Cherry Creek, and into downtown Denver!! It is really one of the best bike systems in the country. Our home has views of Pike's Peak from the loft area as well as front range views from the master bedroom. We welcome all visitors, so book your flight today.

Talk to you soon from the Mile High City!

M&M

We have no bananas today...

I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. It has nothing to do with anything really, but that is what was running through my head when I was posting, so there ya have it.

My beta HCG levels were down again today, but still not low enough for me to be released. They came back at 69.5....uuggghhh! I have to test again on Monday, and that should be the last blood draw. Good thing, too, since we are moving next week. Oh well.