Thursday, June 01, 2006

One Day in Chi-Town...a past journal entry

The days are getting shorter. The heavy darkness of the summer nights is blanketing the sun earlier than I would like. The summer is slowly, but almost too quickly, fading away. Where does the time go? How is it that I have so lost myself in the vacuum of time that I can't even directly put my finger on to where it has slipped away? As much as I look forward to what each day and each moment will bring, I am saddened by what time has taken with its passing. But, we can't live in the past, so we must incorporate the delicious parts of it into our future. So - what do we take with us as we move on? How do we decide what is important? I guess it is all tied to feelings. That which is strongest will survive and will move on with us, hopefully growing and ever evolving. Some of the things that I would like to take with me are the fragments of relationships I've encountered - the minute bits and pieces of people who have touched me and filled up the tiny holes in my soul. I would like to take with me what it is to feel loved for exactly who I am - even if the brevity of that feeling is almost incalculable. I would like to take with me that larger than life feeling that has possesed me while in the city continuing on my path of self-exploration and self-realization. I would like to take with me the feeling of the warm sun hitting my face while it reflects off of the river below. I would like to take with me the feeling of the wind tangling itself violently into my hair without even caring what it has done to my appearance during its dance. I want to take with me all of those pure raw feelings that somehow hit me every day as I escape from the mundane pace of the rest of the world. I hope that my words can remind me of all of those intangible wonders that I have clumsily stumbled upon, yet that I have felt with an all-knowing conviction and want.